Public Service Announcement

When I started this blog nearly a year ago, my intent was to include a little bit of everything that interested me: art, politics, media, sports, current events and the like. Well that didn’t exactly happen. Caught up in the excitement of what was to become a truly magical experience, I started blogging about the Blackhawks. And blogging. And blogging some more.

Therefore, I’ve decided to become a split personality. Introducing....

Geek Misconduct

This blog will be the depot for all of my hockey rants and ramblings, so if that piques your interest, follow along. You can also keep tabs on my hockey brain farts on Twitter as @GeekMisconduct. I’m sure all three people who read this blog for other things are breathing a sigh of relief.

This is not to say a brick wall will be constructed between both blogs. I’m sure hockey will still bleed over on here from time to time, and likewise some nonsensical ramblings will go on at GM. But I thought it best to separate the two, not only for my sanity, but for yours.

For those of you who have been following along with me on here, I sincerely thank you. Now if you’d excuse me, I have to finish writing a post about baseball ;)

Can You Take Out A Home Equity Loan For Hockey Tickets?

I guess it was to be expected - team wins a championship, tickets become scarce. But when single game tickets went on sale for the Blackhawks last month, I did not expect to be completely shut out. Of all 41 home games. Except for standing room (fuck that). Or the exorbitantly priced 100 level seats (fuck that even more).

I already had issues with the Hawks’ ticket sales because not only did they raise ticket prices again (I can’t say I blame them - supply & demand) but they also divided parts of the 300 level into *3* price levels. For serious? There’s only 17 rows in most of them for Chrissakes! They also have dicked around with my brother’s season tickets - they wanted to move down a couple rows because they sit in the second to last row of their section and folks in standing room basically invade your personal space the entire game. I can attest to that - I used my brother’s tickets to see the preseason game vs. the Wings on Saturday and Amy had to put her arm out to prevent some guy from basically resting his junk on the top of my head. Eww. In any case, the Hawks ticket folks refused to move my brother and his seatmate (even though most of the seats in the rows in front of them are not used by STHs) unless they wanted to move down far enough to be in a more expensive price level. Way to take care of your loyal fans. But why would the Hawks make any concessions to them? The waiting list (which I am a part of) is miles long and they could find someone to take my brother’s seats, probably at the non-grandfathered price range to boot. Hey, the Hawks organ-I-zation is still miles above when Dollar Bill held the reins, but boy can you tell John McDonough is in charge - he pulled the same shit when he was with the Cubs.

They're Ready For Their Closeups Mr. DeMille

Btw...Sunset Boulevard - EPIC film. I love mes some Gloria Swanson.

In honor of the first night of the preseason (Blackhawks' first game is tomorrow night - w00t!), I've decided to have a little fun with various players' official team photos. I stumbled upon them over the weekend when I printed out the Hawks roster for training camp, and some of them are too funny. Now there are plenty of pictures of myself floating around that look much worse, but I don't make millions of dollars either, so I won't feel too bad about the mockery.

Training Days

June 9th seems so far away at times - especially since I had to endure a horrendous summer of Cubs baseball which made me miss hockey even more. But finally, the party's over, the hangover cure has been ingested and we're on the cusp of the 2010-11 NHL season. With the Chicago Blackhawks as your defending Stanley Cup champions, of course.

Training Camps used to be several weeks long, but with the playoffs running into June, preseason games and now these "Premiere" games in Europe (WTF NHL - do we really need games in Sweden, Finland *and* Prague?), camps are now merely days. That doesn't leave time for players on the bubble to make the big time a lot of opportunities to make an impression, so these camps are much more intense that they probably were a few years ago.

Roadtrip Recap: Fin.

OK, at this point it's been a month since the roadtrip (and I honestly have more interesting topics to blog about, like the 2010-11 NHL season OMGOMGOMG) and I know I've lost what little audience I had to begin with. But goddammit, I'm going to finish this, if only so when I'm 79 and back in diapers, I can read this and remember. And we better have flying cars by then too.

Pass the Pigskin

When I don't have to turn the a/c on for several days in a row, when I see surly teenagers walking to the local high school, when I begrudgingly have to remember where the hell I put my hoodies, this can only mean one thing: IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON.

The Chicago Bears have a rare gift in this city - they're truly the only team in Chicago that the whole city is united for. Sure, the Blackhawks were hot shit this year, but half the folks in their Byfuglien jerseys (haaaaaaaa...suckers!) probably thought icing was what you put on a cupcake two years ago. Notwithstanding, hockey still has nowhere near the number of fans of the other "Big Three" sports in this country. The Bulls? The 90's were great in the Jordan/Pippen/Jackson era (hell, even *I* watched the NBA playoffs then), but when MJ left, so did the Bulls hold on the city. Cubs/Sox? I'm surprised they don't ask on birth certificates in Chicagoland which team has your alligence. Nothing divides this city like bickering between fans of the two teams. The Bears have always been *the* team in Chicago. The waiting list for season tickets is decades long, people fight over who inherits them in wills (seriously) and no matter how bad the team sucks, Solider Field will be full come December when the windchill is 20 below zero and a handful of men will paint their chest orange and navy and go shirtless. And then they will have frostbitten boobies. I was in 5th grade during the illustrious 1985 Super Bowl season, and this city went bat shit crazy. Nothing could ever top the feeling and excitement - unless of course if the Cubs ever win it all, and I think Chicago will just burn to the ground if that ever happens. I think part of the reason the city was so caught up in it was it was Chicago's first championship since the Bears won it all in 1963 - and there wasn't even a Super Bowl then. Decades of pent up frustration came out that year - it was one big party from September to January. People from that team are revered as saints in Chicago - I mean if Mike Ditka decided to run for Mayor, he'd win in a landslide. Actually my pipe dream would be a Ditka-Oprah mayoral race. Now that would be fun!

My class did a rendition of the Super Bowl Shuffle. I was Mike Richardson. That should tell you how popular I was :P

Roadtrip Recap: Days Five - Six

[Please note this post will probably be more incoherent than usual as I am watching the first NFL game of the season (Fuck you Brett Favre!) while composing this. Which reminds me that I should do a Bears preview post before Sunday for what promises to be another woeful season. Is it October yet?]

So I'm gonna finish the Canadian portion of the way overdue trip recap now. Thank Jebus.

The Mayors of My Life

I've got the final recap of my roadtrip in the pipeline (after finally finishing uploading 340 photos - yeesh!), but we interrupt my slacking to bring you some Breaking News!

HO-LEE SHEEEIT!

Amy texted me at work to tell me Mayor Daley wasn't seeking a seventh term as mayor. For those who don't live in Chicago, this is a BIG DEAL. Shocking - I honestly thought he was going to stay in office until he had a chest grabber like his old man, Richard J. 42 of the last 55 years has had a Daley running Chicago, so it's going to be hard to imagine this city Daley-less. Not to mention all the $$$ we're going to end up spending peeling Richie's name off of every surface that matters in this town. Seeing as "Da Mare" has been in power since I was in 8th grade (ack), I thought I'd take this opportunity to look back on the Mayors of Chicago in my lifetime.

RIP Rocket

Not to be a downer, but our hamster Rocket went to the big wheel in the sky sometime last night/this morning. I'll wax poetic about him and my love of hamsters in general later, but I wanted to take a second to honor his memory. We got him at a shelter last year, and he was a "senior" hamster at that point (meaning he was about a year old or so), but we adopted him anyway. This is one of my favorite pictures of him - if you look closely at him, you'll notice there's a piece of poo stuck on his head. I found this hilarious, especially when he got annoyed and resisted when we tried to get it off of him.

We were blessed to have this little old guy for over a year. Your mommies will miss you and never forget you!

[Shit I'm crying again and I'm out of Kleenex. ANYway, back to my usual stupidity shortly - I want to finish blogging the damn roadtrip by the end of the holiday weekend]

Roadtrip Recap: Days Three & Four

At the rate I'm going, by the time I finish this, I'll be on my next vacation. Or the NHL season will have started.

Anyway.

Roadtrip Recap: Days One & Two

Well I haven't gotten this recap up as quickly as I'd like. For gods sake I'm only at the halfway point of uploading all of the pictures I took. It really has taken me the week after the trip to get my bearings and a somewhat stressful week back at work didn't help matters much. I'm not sure if anyone even cares anymore, but I figure I'd better write this down before I get too old and can't remember any of it.

And Here. We. Go.

I Hath Returned

OK, I really did mean to attempt to blog while on my road trip, but due to the fact I passed out most evenings when we got back to our hotel (humidity + walking for miles makes me tired), this did not happen. Aside from that, we had multiple issues with internet access: one motel's idea of wi-fi was like a 28.8 modem and another hotel was equipped with only an Ethernet cord that Amy's laptop did not like. We also encountered, unbeknown to us, we were going to incur "International Roaming Charges" on our iPhones while in Canada (Fuck you AT&T) so checking the net for three days was verboten unless we could get wi-fi on the smart phones.

But aside from that, it was a fun trip and I'm sad to see it end. I have 1200+ photos to go through. I am only on Day Two of posting them to Flickr so this may take awhile. I will also put up a summary here once I have some time - hopefully this week. In the meantime, here's a list of all of the places we stayed/stopped at during our eight days:

Chicago-South Bend, IN-Bryan, OH-Toledo-Cleveland-Ashtabula, OH-Conneaut, OH-Erie, PA-Silver Creek, NY-Buffalo, NY-Niagara Falls, NY-Niagara Falls, ONT-Toronto-London, ONT-Southfield, MI-Detroit-Hamtramck, MI-Ann Arbor, MI-Chicago

Needless to say I put over 1,200 miles on my car. He performed admirably.

And now it's to bed as I'm sure there are various disasters I must fix when I'm back at work tomorrow. HUGE SIGH

Vacation Time!

So I fully intended to do an in-depth and informative post, as you will always receive here on afoui (*snort*), regaling you of vacations of days past and a preview of what is to come this week. Unfortunately work kicked my ass all week, resulting in long hours and most evenings spent falling asleep in front of the TV - I am turning into my father. So seeing as it's past midnight and we're getting up at 7am in order to hit the road early, a scant paragraph or two is just gonna have to do.

Saturday: Cleveland
Sunday/Monday: Niagara Falls/Buffalo
Tuesday-Thursday: Toronto
Friday: Detroit
Saturday: HOME!

We don't have too much planned for certain. We're doing the Rock and Roll HOF in Cleveland, Niagara Falls of course, and the Hockey HOF in Toronto - I've already bought my tickets for that bitches! Expect a lot of photos of old signs and the other off beat shit I like to take pictures of. I predict I will get at least two blisters, sun burnt once and probably eat something that won't agree with me. But I don't care - I love vacations, and I am increasingly loving going on road trips - there's just so many cool and strange things to see when you drive.

I'll attempt to make a post or two on here during our time on the road, but I will be tweeting and probably throwing pictures on flickr too. So if you're so inclined, check out the links on the right.

Later!

Saving the Worst For Last

[Goodbye Nemo *wails*]

We all knew that the moves the Hawks were going to have to make in the offseason would be painful. But if you had told me earlier that this would mean we'd lose no fewer than *10* players, including our Cup winning goalie, I would have thought you were on crack and proceeded to either get drunk or jump off my porch (I live on the second floor). 

I had been dreading the impending Antti Niemi arbitration hearing and was hoping against hope the two sides could hammer something out beforehand. Alas, that did not happen, so I crossed my fingers that the arbitrator would award Nemo something in the 2 mildo range: that would be the only way he'd fit in a cap tighter than my thighs in spandex (please note I have never owned any spandex. Go away fashion police!).

He was awarded a one year-$2.75 million dollar contract.

That was that - no more Nemo. Within 24 hours, the Hawks had signed Marty "C-3P0" Turco, and Antti Claus (because he can give up rebounds like it's Christmas) was no longer a Hawk. On a selfish note, I can state I'm happy I didn't invest in a jersey (but I might still get a Niemi T-Shirt) but I really, really grew to like Nemo as the season wore on. He seems like an unassuming, hard working, goofy guy. And he is cute in that dorky way I find so endearing.

It's not fair that a Stanley Cup winning goalie is out of a job, mostly due to the fact that the Blackhawks were punished for their success in terms of bonuses counting against next year's salary cap. The poor guy was a Cinderella story - Zamboni driver to hoisting the sports' greatest prize in a few short years. I will have to lay some of this blame on Niemi's agent, Bill Zito. I know his job is to get the best deal for his client, and of course his value will never be higher having just backstopped the team to the top. But any idiot could tell you that this was a shit year for goalie free agents (just ask Jose Theodore and Evgeni Nabokov). Everyone knew of the Hawks' cap issues - you'd think perhaps you'd take a one year deal at a reasonable price with the promise of a multi-year deal for bigger bucks in the wings. I guess money talks - yet here we are, several days after the decision and Niemi's gone nowhere. Sure Zito's boasting that several teams are now interested, but I can't see any NHL team right now signing Niemi to that $2.75 mildo price tag - especially since unless a team changes its current roster, Nemo would only be needed in a 1A or backup role. I get the feeling Zito was filling Nemo's head with Halak-type numbers, only to see that idea fly out the window. Reportedly Niemi asked Zito "Now What?" after the decision was rendered. Now what indeed - poor Nemo could legitimately be out of the NHL or playing at a price less than what the Hawks probably offered him come the start of the regular season. 

Antti Niemi, you captured my heart in the midst of the journey that brought me to tears at the end, the journey that culminated in something no logical Chicago sports fan ever expects to see: a championship. Wherever your career takes you, I wish you nothing but the best. Just remember not to lose the puck in your pants again.

I wonder if Turco will sport red sparkling pads. I may have to wear sunglasses to the UC.

It's Not Easy Being Green

 [Day 23: Garden View]

As you recall (or perhaps not, here's a friendly reminder), Amy and I are tending a raised bed garden in a former vacant lot. It's been almost a month now, but I am happy to report that not only did we not kill off everything, we actually have ate things from it (and didn't get food poisoning)! Below is a summary of the growings on (ha - bad pun!), mostly in pictures of course.

I Am Sheeple, Hear Me Bleat

When the iPhones came out several years ago, Amy and I took great delight in mocking those who rushed right out to get one. "Fucking Hipsters," we'd sneer. Like sheep, folks flocked to Apple Stores every time a upgrade happened, and then they'd seemingly gloat they were cool enough to own one as they'd fiddle with it on the train, walking down the street, in the public bathroom.

Two years ago, it was time for Amy and I to get our phone upgrades as the contract was up.  Scoffing at the thought of needing a smart phone, I settled for a simple flip top model, seen above. We lovingly named it my Jitterbug. Amy opted for a Motorola, which was a cheap imitation of a Blackberry (she hates Blackberries). I was content with it for a time, but as I got more and more involved with social media, I longed for a smart phone. I'd use Amy's when I could, but the web browser was slow, and most webpages looked horrible on it. I'd sit at Hawks games this season and wish I had a phone I could check other scores on, and look at the Twitter feeds of fellow fans.

[self portrait using the Hipstamatic app - I'm a tad obsessed with this at the moment]

Finally our contracts were up again. Both of us ate a little crow. Amy got her iPhone 4 a week after they came out. I got mine last night - I had to wait an extra month due to some bullshit AT&T policy.

I spent most of last night playing with it and downloading (mostly) free apps and putting some music on it. I'm like a kid in a candy store - a nerdy one of course. So let me just say it: I have an iPhone. And I am not ashamed.

My Personal Academy Award

I rarely talk about work on here, for several reasons - a) I try not to give away too much information about my real life persona, even though I'm sure almost everyone who reads this knows me personally anyway, b) blogging about work can be tricky - I would never say anything remotely controversial about my workplace, knowing I could could get in trouble if I did. Which I have issues with in general, but that's not a topic for here nor there, c) I know I bore everyone enough as it is, so I don't need to wax poetic about the place I spend 50 hours a week at.

That being said, something important today that I should share - not to brag or boast, but more to put my memories and feelings down before the moment has passed. But first, I feel the need to tell everyone about all the jobs I've worked. So if you're sleepy, this should work better than an Ambien.

Finding Hockey Amongst Pierogis

OK, so I wrote that long diatribe how I'm going to update the blog and do other things and yet I've waited nearly a week to write anything of substance. *sigh* Well I did upload probably close to a 100 photos on Flickr since then so I'm not totally useless. Or something. Anyway...

No, no, no, don't run away screaming! Dead raccoon is just welcoming you to a story about my visit to the Annual Pierogi Fest in Whiting, Indiana over the weekend. As you will see shortly, Mr Raccoon is just a sample of the weird ass shit (and in this case frightening) you could see and/or purchase in between stuffing your face. For those not in the know, pierogis are Polish dumplings often stuffed with potatoes, cheese, sauerkraut and other tasty things. Sadly, I didn't start eating them regularly until fairly recently. Which is surprising considering I grew up in an area of Chicago with a large Polish population (Chicago has the largest Polish population outside of Warsaw), and went to school with many folks with Polish and Slavic heritage. Aside from eating so much you feel like you need a defibrillator, there were many booths with crafts, knick-knacks and well, shit. Of course I had to capture such things with a Blackhawks theme!

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

If I could accomplish even half of what I set out to do, I think I'd be quite pleased with myself. Unfortunately life tends to get in my way - work takes out a significant portion of my time during the week: I leave my apartment at 6:30 every morning, and get home between 6 and 7 at night (depending on traffic and when I can pry my ass out of my office chair). So by the time I settle in and eat, it's usually close to 8pm which leaves me about 2 hours or so of free time. I think I may be slightly manic as I tend to have short intense bursts of inspiration and desire to work on my aspirations. Unfortunately, those bursts tend to happen at inappropriate times - like when I'm at work, or at 10:30pm on a weeknight when I really need to go to bed. On the weekends I tend to try to squeeze in all the errands I was too lazy/didn't have time for in the week (i.e. laundry, grocery shopping, naps) which leaves me only sporadic blocks of time of which to work with. Add what I think is a slight case of ADD (I swear I would have been medicated as a kid had I been born twenty years later) which I'm noticing is getting worse as I get older, and I'm shocked I can finish any kind of artistic endeavor.

AnyWAY, the point of this post was not to bitch about how I don't have time to do the things I want, but to tell you what those things are. Like the essay you'd always be stuck writing that first week back to grammar school in the fall ("This summer I wrote my bike to White Hen for Slush Puppies every day and bought baseball cards from Roadway Pharmacy" [this is seriously what I did]), here's a list of what I hope I can accomplish this summer. Please note I am a realist and know there's no way I can get all of this done. I will put these in order of what I feel is doable, and also because ordering lists soothes me. Hey, I can't help that - I'm anal retentive.

Ignoring Baseball

So there's this other sport I follow religiously: baseball. Unfortunately I've had a lapse in my faith as I've hardly paid attention to the MLB season at all. I can attribute this to three main reasons: 1) I was following hockey until mid-June. The above picture was taken at my second of four Cubs games I'm going to this season, and I didn't even bother to post about it here - cut me some slack, it was the day after we closed out the Vancouver series. 2) the Blackhawks' season culminating in their Stanley Cup victory was, well, a religious experience for me. Any other sport right now doesn't even come close to comparing. I was focused on hockey from October to June, and watching baseball right now is downright boring to me. Don't give me wrong, I love the sport. But becoming obsessed with the NHL again has made me have ADD with sports in general. 3) The Cubs Are Terrible. I mean even worse than I can remember them in at least five years. I think the only games I've seen in their entirety this season were the two games I've attended - they won both (a miracle!). I will always love the Cubs and will admit to that and defend them to anyone at anytime. But I just can't deal with them at the moment. It's as if I fear their bad luck will rub off on any other sports team I follow. Regardless, I'll make a lame attempt at analyzing the lame excuse of a season the Cubs as of the All Star Break.

The Kids Are Alright - At Least Until One Gets Beat Up

This past Friday through today was the Blackhawks Prospect Camp. Since we're losing players faster than Patrick Kane probably loses bills at a gentleman's club, I figured I might as well go on Saturday and see the players who will one day (probably too soon) be replacing them. Plus it was free and it's not like I have anything better to do. They invited 70 kids to the camp and divided them into four teams. They had two sessions with two teams apiece - each had a 15 minute practice before a scrimmage of two 30 minute periods.

From the Internets: I Have A Bad Case of Diarrhea

OK before you run screaming from this blog, I really don't have the runs. During one of my patented putterings on the internets, I found a few videos I had seen awhile back but had put out of my mind. Perhaps intentionally. Warning: after you watch these videos you will have these songs in your head.




I'm sure you are wondering what the hell you just wasted a minute of your time on. That clip is from Zuiikin English - a TV show that ran in Japan in the '90s with the purpose of teaching English whilst exercising. A strange concept to be sure, but then again this is the country that brought us Iron Chef (which I love 100x times more than Iron Chef America - I just want to slap Bobby Flay every time I see him smirk on my TV). I'm not sure why they chose this particular phrase - "I really need the toilet" would have sufficed but then again, it wouldn't have been nearly as funny.

Here's another one of my faves:



"Spare me my life!" is a great phrase when a man wearing a bandanna like my 80 year old grandmother tries to rob you!

I find weird and slightly inappropriate videos/links like this often, but am too lazy to make a proper post about them. Therefore, I created a tumblr account so house such things. My screen name is maschinenmensch for those who are daring enough to follow me.

"Take anything you want!"

RIP Probie

Bob Probert, 1965 - 2010

No matter what your feelings were about Probert, 45 is way too young to go - especially when you have four kids. What's horrifying to me to me is he apparently went in front of his wife, children and other family. I don't know if I'd wish that on my worst enemy.

For myself, Probie was the guy you loved to hate when he played for the Wings. He did his job well - beating the shit outta anyone in his way. What most people forget though is is could also score - look at his point total in 87-88: 62. The Hawks gave him a second chance at playing after one of his frequent alcohol related run ins with the law and subsequent release from Detroit. The hate turned to love for the Chicago fans. Here was a man who protected his teammates, especially the skill players, with his fists. That's something you'll never see again with the instigator penalties they've instituted - another thing that has changed the game for the worst, IMHO. He was the last of a dying breed.

As his hockey card from 1990 states, "Bob had a much publicized drug and alcohol problem." Maybe that contributed to his early death, but why speculate? The man had demons, but it seemed like he had done his best to conquer them. By all accounts he was truly a nice, stand up guy off the ice. 

Most of the tribute posts I've seen link to clips of Probert's best fights. If you'd like to see them, take a look at hockeyfights.com or youtube - they're there for the taking. I'd like to include the one below. It's a Hawks/Wings montage before Game 4 of the WCF Finals last year and includes the ceremonial puck drop by Probie himself:

"Kick their ass" indeed, Bob. Wherever you are now, I hope you're doing the same.

Another Three Bite the Dust...

Bow your heads please, as we take a moment to remember three additional recently departed members of Your 2010 Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks...

Andrew Ladd

You played in the SCF with a fractured shoulder - that is a testament to your toughness. You were known more for your gritty style of play, but you also scored the team's only hat trick in the regular season. Alas, Atlanta offered you $3.5 mildo so off you went. Have fun with our other recently departed friends, Buff, Eager and Sopel on Blackhawks-South. 

Adam Burish

Trendy bars with co-eds will never be the same without you Burr. I'll miss your wit and cockiness. You never really seemed to put it all together this year - perhaps you were still recovering from your injury. You were willing to stay for a hometown discount, but either the money the Stars were throwing at you was too good to turn down, or the front office simply didn't want you back. Have fun with all the big hair in Texas.

Kris Versteeg

Who will be the team's aspiring rapper now that you're gone Kris? Your defiance in not dumping the puck into the zone and boneheaded defensive lapses frustrated me to no end. Yet, you easily had half a dozen highlight reel type goals last season. Perhaps the increased ice time you'll receive in Toronto will turn you into a better two way player - I suspect you may be the player we let go that ends up biting us in the butt. Sorry that you have been shipped to the team who has inherited the "longest Cup drought" title.

Losing seven players from a championship team less than a month after winning it all has been tough. It had to happen, and I'm thankful we won it all before it did. Still, I would have hoped we wouldn't have lost the equivalence of two complete lines. As it stands, this is what our lines would possibly look like if we played today:

Kane - Toews - Brouwer

Hossa - Sharp - Kopecky

Skille? - Bolland - Stahlberg

Bickell - Reasoner - Beach?

Keith - Seabrook

Campbell - Hjalmarsson

Hendry/Scott/Boynton??

Niemi

Huet/Crawford

This is of course assuming that they resign Toftbo and Nemo - I mean why clear all this cap space if you're not going to? I'm also going to guess Huet gets sent to Rockford once the season starts to rid the team of his albatross of a cap hit. But perhaps they're not, which is another reason for all of the salary dumping. That's a lot of IceHogs on the team - nothing wrong with that, but at first look, that's a *huge* drop in talent from our first two to our bottom two lines. It's possible we may pick up a veteran or two to fill in, but who knows what money we'll have to work with. All I know is one of our greatest strengths last season was our depth, and it's pretty much been gutted at this point.

*Sigh* it's gonna be a long summer.

Attempting To Get the Brown Off My Thumb: An Adventure in Gardening

One of the pitfalls of apartment living in an urban area such as Chicago, is there is no land. No land to BBQ, hang out in and importantly, no place to plant flowers and a vegetable garden. That is not to say you can't do any of the aforementioned things, it's just way better if you have a yard and a place to call your own.

Pride, Sports & Getting Sunburnt for the Gay

I am missing Chicago's 41st Gay Pride Parade, which should step off by the time I finish this post. Honestly, I'm not too torn up about about that - with one exception which I'll get to later.

Breaking Up the Band

We all knew it would happen. Due to the NHL's hard salary cap, there was no way Your 2010 Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks (see, it never gets old) would stay intact. The Cup had barely been lifted in triumph before the internets was abuzz with with the impending doom of the Hawks' Capocalypse. Still, three weeks after the ultimate victory, saying goodbye to four members of the team is bittersweet at best.

My Date With Stanley

A Thousand Words

 I cannot yet believe I got to do this today. More later, I may just die of happiness in the meantime!

A Week On: A Collection of Not-So Memorable Yet Hilarious Hawks Images

So, it's been exactly a week since the Blackhawks hoisted their first Stanley Cup in 49 years. The first several days seemed to be an unrelenting party going on in my head and everything seemed so shiny and happy. Unfortunately, going back to work on Monday really took the buzz off of it - Being understaffed and stressed out ruins everything! Still, the idea of being the reigning Stanley Cup Champions has not gotten old and certainly has gotten this summer off to a tremendously tremendous start. 

Since last Wednesday, I have collected an assortment of images off the internets which I either found funny or a big helping of FAIL. This will be an image heavy post so those on "smart" phones or on 28.8 modems may not want to click on the jump. But I promise you it will be fun!

Sweating My Arse off for a Taste of Victory

First off let me just say, if a Chicago sports team ever wins another championship I care about (Sox and Bulls need not apply) my ass is going to be watching it from the comfort of my own home. That being said, I have no regrets about attending the Blackhawks victory parade downtown on Friday. It was worth it, especially since I wouldn't be surprised if there's never another one for the rest of my days.

Changing of the Guard

When the NHL season started in October, I decided to change my desktop background to this:

This was the cover of ESPN Magazine's NHL Preview Issue. Who knew they actually gave a shit about the NHL anymore? For 9 months these faces looked back at me. At first, I'd stare at Hossa and wonder when we'd actually see him on the ice. Then I'd stare at Toews and marvel at his performance in the Olympics and say a little prayer of thanks to the hockey gods that he was our captain every time I looked at his boyish face. I'd look at Kane and mentally scold him for having viewed his girlish chest in those damn limo pictures. Lastly, throughout the year I'd look at Huet and either bless him for a good game, or more often than not, curse him for his sieve like goaltending skills. After the March Columbus trip, I would always make a wish he'd turn into Antti Niemi so I could lovingly gaze into this bright blue puppy dog eyes. It never worked though, and I admit I always felt sorry for Huey whenever he peered at me from my screen.

Many times throughout the season I was tempted to change the background image to something new or timely. I told myself that this was my image for the season though, and by changing it would be messing with hockey karma.

I just changed it:

This is from the official Hawks site. I like it well enough, but I suspect I might find something a little better in the upcoming days. In any case, I can gaze on the "Stanley Cup Champions" logo and remind myself it was worth the wait.

I'll have pictures and thoughts up from yesterday's crazy victory parade and a special funny post up this weekend. I now have to cram all the chores, sleep and adult responsibilities I have neglected in this crazy week in the two days this weekend. Believe me, I'm not kidding when I say we have no clean dishes, very little food in my fridge and I'm almost out of clean underwear. Don't ever say I don't have my priorities straight!

Stanley Cup Finals Ga-THE CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS ARE YOUR 2010 STANLEY CUP CHAMPS!

As the NHL commercial states, “There are no words.”

I am 34 years old, and 6/9/10 @ 10:06 PM CST will rank as the best sports moment of my life - unless of course the Cubs win it all, but since that’s a sign of the apocalypse (seriously, it’s in the Bible and everything) there may not be much celebrating. I was too young to fully appreciate the Bears in 1985. The Bulls’ six championships were nice, but I hate basketball. The Sox I treated as if any team from the AL won the World Series – I didn’t care. This was my holy grail. And I cried like a baby in public. And I’m not ashamed.

I am going to a ticker tape parade tomorrow, bitches. 24 years ago I pleaded with my mom to let me go when the Bears won it all – she refused. Finally all these years later, I get to attend one. I only wish my mom could be physically able to enjoy it with me in person.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

/dead

Stanley Cup Finals Game Five: Hawks 7, Flyers 4 - Mel starts to FREAK OUT

Well, by freak out I mean that in a "OMGWe'reONEwinawayfromthebigshinything" way. Mostly. There's still the rational/Chicago sports fan part of my brain that reminds me that the series is far from over. Damn you 2003 Cubs from preventing me from fully enjoying the position I'm currently in!

I have to say, the first period of this game was probably the best period of hockey the Hawks have played in this series, if not the entire playoffs. Speed. Puck possession. Crisp passing. Good hitting. It was a thing of beauty - up 3-0 at the end of the period in your own building - marvelous.

Inevitably, the Flyers came out like their pants were on fire scoring quickly in the second. Here's the thing though - every time the Flyers would seemingly get the momentum back by scoring, the Hawks would come right back and answer. That is refreshing to see. The Flyers never got closer than 2 goals down, and when Buff scored the empty netter to ice it, I cursed not having a hot tub time machine to make it Game Six already. A two day break between games this far along in the series is hell for my nerves. Add a long stressful work week already, and this week has just sucked thus far.

Stanley Cup Finals Game Four: Flyers 5, Hawks 3 - Mel brings out the big guns

Look, I'm pissed off and frightened now. I am not happy.

Honestly, the Hawks are lucky the series is tied 2-2 coming home. They haven't played a good game yet. Not even close. And if they don't for two of the next possible three games, I'm going to have a summer of heartbreak, and some assbags are going to be carrying something that doesn't belong to them.

Stanley Cup Finals Game Three: Flyers 4, Hawks 3 (OT) - Mel wanted them to come home anyway

This is gonna be quick and dirty as this game was depressing and I'm really in no mood to spend much time on it.

Honestly, I don't think anyone expected the Hawks would sweep this series. Although being up 2-0, the thought was nice. If we can pull one out tomorrow, we come home needing only one win to get to the promised land. And that is fine by me.

In order to do that, the Hawks need to note the following:

- The Hawks haven't played their A game consistently yet this series. This is comforting to a point, but we're going into Game Four here. Get it together already!
- To that end, the Hawks seemed to be playing the more Flyers game last night than their own. You're a puck possession team - quit looking to make hits just to make them. By all means, don't sit there and take their dirty play, but don't stoop to their level. Play your game!
- Buff needs off the top line. Like yesterday - he's reverted to regular season form. Please put Brouwer out there and make Pronger do more than cross check and throw elbows. Like skate a little.
- I hope Ladd is back tomorrow. Burish needs to sit: if the only thing you're contributing in the Cup finals are one liners from the bench you need to go away.
- Q, why the fuck were you so concerned with matchups in OT? It's playoff hockey - put your best lines out there and make competent changes after shorter shifts. Your schizophrenic quick changes cost us this game.
- The Philly goal horn dude has a heavy finger. And why does the horn last so damn long? It's worse than the damn cannons in Columbus.
- I hope Pronger chokes on a bag of chips.
- OK, Nemo - you're due for another big game tomorrow right?

That's all folks. Thankfully I'll be watching the game tomorrow at bar. Yay, alcohol!

And Then There's One: the Passing of a Golden Girl

What does it say about me that the news of Blanche Devereaux's (Rue McClanahan) death has depressed me way more than the Blackhawks' OT loss last night? A co-worker told me about it this morning and it has put me in a funk all day. By coincidence, I was watching the show just last night in between periods of the Hawks game - it was a great way to lower my stress levels and have a few laughs.

Saturday Nights were a routine for me as a kid: take the L downtown for my ballet lesson in the Fine Arts Building from 3:15-4:15. My parents would order either pizza (half bacon/half mushroom) or Chinese (pork chop suey) for dinner. Facts of Life on NBC at 7pm. Some other show (I remember 227 for awhile there) at 7:30. The Golden Girls at 8pm. I loved the Golden Girls even though I was only 9 when the show started. Several times a year my brother and I would spend Saturday nights over at my Grandma's house so my parents could enjoy a night out. I would always clamor for her to put the Golden Girls on. "That show is not for children!" she would state, but then end up putting it on for me anyway. I really couldn't understand what she meant - I thought it was hilarious. It wasn't until many years later, when the reruns were always on Lifetime that I realized what she meant. I was innocent enough then that all that innuendo went completely over my head. It's amazing to me now how much they got away with.

In memory of Blanche, here's a few of my favorite clips:



The laughter by Rue and Bea is genuine - Betty White had them both in stitches while she deadpanned. 



"Lesbian. Lesbian. LESBIAN." That line makes me LOL Every. Damn. Time.



Finally...the Best of Blanche.

I'd like to think that somewhere, Blanche, Dorothy and Sophia are at the kitchen table sharing a cheesecake, chatting away until it's time for Rose to join them (which I hope isn't for a long, LONG time - I heart Betty White!). God, this makes me sad. Wherever you are Rue, Godspeed! You will be missed!

Stanley Cup Finals Game Two: Hawks 2, Flyers 1 - Mel gets treats

Well, I guess the real treat was the outcome. But as to what I'm referring to, you'll just have to wait until the end.

With the somewhat unexpected offensive explosion in Game One, you'd had to figure both teams would button things down. They wouldn't disappoint. The first period started out somewhat tentative - offensively at least (the Hawks won the SOG battle 9-3). The hits though came fast and furious - starting at the opening faceoff. Much was made about Daniel Carcillo entering the lineup. He made a few good hits, although none better than this one:



I guess this is why Carcillo was bumped to the third line shortly thereafter and was MIA in the third period. I loved Burish's chirp from the bench though: "That was your best hit all year!" LOLLERCOASTER!

The second period definitely had more jump to it - the Flyers outshot the Hawks 15-13. With better rebound control and positioning by both goalies, it seemed like we were going to the final period with two goose eggs on the scoreboard. Lo and behold, with the Flyers being sloppy clearing out the front of the net with 3 minutes left, a Panda swooped in and buried it over Leighton for his first tally of the Finals. You could tell Hossa was relieved more than anything - I think he has been the best forward so far in this series. The UC crowd was still buzzing when a mere 28 seconds later, Buff picked off a pass in the neutral zone and passed it to a waiting Eager who fired a laser above Leighton's glove hand. Ben *fucking* Eager? My brother said the crowd was the loudest after he scored, more out of disbelief than anything else. His celebration was reminiscent of the Nintendo64 kid. He needs to be a little more careful when jumping around though - he could have broken our Captain.

The Flyers came out in pure desperation in the final frame, perhaps realizing that we're not the Bruins. The Hawks seemed somewhat content in being complacent and focusing on defense, which isn't a bad thing, but I wish they would have come out with a little more oomph. Philly clobbered us in offensive chances, with the SOG being tilted 15-4. Enter our little Nemo. If not for a weird wobbly shot that went in from Gagne, Niemi would have had his third shutout of the playoffs. Again, Nemo follows up a shit game with one of his best ones. So after I nearly jumped out the window when Sharpie clanged the post on the empty net to seal the deal (what is with this team and fucking up the ENGs?), the Hawks go to Philly with a 2-0 lead. Thank you Flying Spaghetti Monster!

A brief note on the Pronger/puck/towel/Eager situation. I realize Pronger is a fucking asshole and probably took the puck just to piss the Hawks off. Doesn't he have enough pucks from his grade school days playing with Chelios? It just pisses me off because that puck belongs to Nemo - I mean look at this face from the post game interview - he's choking up because he can't believe the crowd is going crazy for him:

Why gritty players like Sami Salo suffer while filth like Pronger goes without being speared in the nuts is beyond me. Not that I'm advocating violence *whistles*

So Game Three: I'll light a candle for any Hawks fans brave enough to show their face there. I hope they bring ponchos for the beer and vomit showers. I know Toews and Kaner will be back in scoring form. I know Nemo will continue to amaze. I hope the Hawks come back home with at least a split.

Now onto the treats. My brother was kind enough bring me back a couple things I requested from the two games:

Another puck for the collection...

Official SCF program. I haven't read it cover to cover yet but a) it's got a nice section for the roster for both teams b) is far too ad heavy (though the Philadelphia area ads amuse me) c) has way too many mentions/pictures of Crosby/Ovechkin for a Finals between the *Blackhawks* and the *Flyers*. I hate you NHL marketing machine! I'll make sure to get completely pissed NYE so I sleep through the Pens/Caps Winter Classic. Phhhbbbbttttt!

Stanley Cup Finals Game One: Hawks 6, Flyers 5 - Mel needs a Zoloft

Wow, what a game!

Both goalies made some incredible saves. The top lines for both teams were unstoppable. Such great defense! And the ice at the UC - top notch!

Wait, what?

Post 100: Back in Time When the Floor Shook

To my amazement, this post marks the 100th entry on my blog since I started it at the beginning of the year. I'm shocked to an extent that I've maintained it for this long, as I've never kept anything like this running for more than a couple of weeks. This has evolved into a hockey/sports blog, which wasn't really my intention. No worries, as soon as the NHL playoffs end, I'm sure this blog will become more of my original vision - a home for my snark, random links and stuff I find interesting. I bet you can't wait!

In "celebration" of this occasion, I got the new scanner humming and present you with the following - pictures I took of the Chicago Stadium - the home of the Blackhawks, Bulls, circus, ice capades and random bad concerts prior to the United Center. I don't remember exactly when I took these photographs - it was somewhere between 1988 - 1990 as I did a history fair project on the Wirtz family. Don't ask me why - I guess it was a little more respectable than just a project on the Blackhawks. Of course I no longer have the actual report I wrote as it was done on a typewriter. In any case, one day my dad drove me down to the Stadium to take pictures for the posterboard. I just remember my dad attempting to nervously rush me as back in those days the neighborhood was pretty bad and there was CHA housing close by. Looking back, it's rather comical to think someone was going to shoot us as we took a few pictures, but my dad was being parental I suppose.

Seeing these photographs again bring back so many memories: the anticipation of seeing a Hawks game, feeling the floor shake when the crowd roared, the way your feet would stick to the floor, the swear words I learned at a young age. There will never be another place like it. Le sigh.

A post about the shitstorm that was Game One of the SCF later - I'm going to run across the street now and see if I can still get breakfast at McDonald's!

Make Me Party Like '61 Boys - Hawks vs. Flyers for the Whole Enchilada

Of course, I wasn't alive in 1961 (I'm not that old - yet) and the big shiny thing looks more like something you'd put your guacamole in (wonder if anyone's ever done that) than an enchilada. But it's finally here - Game One of the Stanley Cup Finals! Thanks Bettman for making us all wait a fucking week - kiss my fat ass!

Of course, I'd be remiss if I never mentioned my MVPs and such from the WCF. Yeah, I know it's*really* late but I've done it for every series now and I'm at the height of superstition at the moment. So bear with me here...

Belated WCF Game Four (Hawks Win Series!) Wrapup

[blogger's note: please excuse the probable crapiness and nonsensical ramblings of this post. I am sick, on cold medicine and my nose is more chapped than a infant who has diaper rash's ass. Whee!]

Well we all know how this ended up - Blackhawks swept the Sharks in four. I don't think anyone (including myself) expected that. Sure, a lot of folks say all four games were hard-fought (which they were) but sweeping a team out of the NHL playoffs is difficult - case in point: this is the only sweep in the playoffs this year at this point.

A few thoughts on Game Four from the standpoint of someone in attendance - with pictures!

Jesus saves....at Wal-Mart

Really am behind on posting here but I have an excuse - I'm sick. I really don't know how I made it through eight hours of work today without passing out or biting people's heads off. Ok, I did a little of the latter.

In any case - enjoy the photo below from a local church. I did not take the picture - I just found it on the twitter-sphere.

Three more days - thank god. Watching the Cubs is giving me the twitches.

Funny, I used to like the color orange

Not really much of a post here, as I'm focusing on putting my pictures of Game Four on flickr, and all I have is a ceiling fan in our office. I'll let you know if Mac Minis have a melting point.

Anyway, Flyers vs. Hawks for the big shiny thing. Not much of a recent history between these two teams. Seeing as Philly fans infamously threw snowballs at Santa Claus (ok it was the NFL, but still), I don't need much reason to hate them. How am I going to make it until Saturday without passing a stone? I guess it gives me plenty of time to wax poetic on here.

Oh, and just so you don't think I don't love you all, here's a gem from before warmups:

Hee hee hee!

Onto the Finals! Game Four in Four Pictures

BONUS PICTURE!

[there's a story behind this one, but you'll have to wait]

Much, much more about this game & series in the coming days, but I am emotionally scrambled and I have to get my wired ass off to bed for a full week of work ahead. Why can't the Stanley Cup Finals be a two week long holiday?

"Don't Accept Plastic Imitations!"

Just a bit of Saturday night (or is it Sunday morning?) silliness:



I don't know what's worse: the name "Disco Body Shaper" or the jump suits. And who the hell wears a belt when working out?

I got this off the Museum of Classic Chicago Television - a site I have wasted countless hours on. If you're looking for the old Empire commercials, Son of Svengoolie or any other TV staples from the 70s and 80s, make a visit!

Western Conference Finals Game Three: Hawks 3, Patrick Marleau 2 (OT) - Mel is deliriously antsy

I should have written this earlier, but I decided to do laundry/watch the Flyers/Habs game/lie around like a sloth this morning & afternoon. This evening Amy & I went out for tapas to celebrate our sixth anniversary. Actually our anniversary was on Wednesday but both of us forgot. Oops. I mean how could I forget - we celebrated our first anniversary on the release date of Revenge of the Sith. Which we ended up seeing on opening night even though I was visiting her while she was studying in England and she doesn't particularly care for Star Wars. That's true love folks.

This will be a briefer recap, as I am as wired as a kid on Christmas Eve. Not only are we on the brink of our first Finals appearance since my sophomore year of high school (*sigh old*), I will be in attendance tomorrow afternoon. I keep thinking of all of the glorious things that I may witness in person, and then I yell at my brain to stop it because I'm sure the Hockey Gods are tapping into it.

Western Conference Finals Game Two: Hawks 4, Sharks 2 - Mel is confused

"What is this feeling..."

I'm scratching my head because it's been awhile since I've experienced this. The Blackhawks are up 2-0 in a playoff series. And with playing both games on the road? I'm not quite sure I should be ecstatic or freaking out. I'll take the former for now, because with every subsequent win I'm going to have to start to look for tranquilizers.

So I'll admit - I was fully expecting the Hawks to shit the bed in Game Two as has been the norm in these playoffs. They've consistently followed up a strong performance with one that looked like they just got out of bed 10 minutes prior to hitting the ice. Lo and behold - that was not the case. It looks like the Hawks get that this is "for reals" now and are playing their best hockey since the playoffs started.

Western Conference Finals Game One: Hawks 2, Sharks 1 - Mel listens intently

So, I can’t add too much personal observation of this game, as about the first 45 minutes of it was listened to on the radio. Thankfully, the radio station came in pretty good – we were around Madison when the game finally started. I was rather perturbed as the station it was broadcast on is normally conservative talk radio crap (they sponsored Sarah Palin’s appearance here last week *violentretching*). The pregame didn’t start until about five to 2pm, so I had to keep flipping back and forth from my iPod as I didn’t want to listen to the blathering about Arizona’s “protection of America” laws that would have caused my poor head to explode from rage. Anyway.

NHL Playoffs: Conference Finals

This post will not be nearly as long nor as in depth as I'd like as I've spent the weekend with a 2 and a 3 year old and am utterly pooped. Additionally I have to get up way too early in the morning to participate in family pictures and will undoubtedly be awaken at some god awful hour by one of the munchkins bouncing on my air mattress. I love these kids, but it makes me appreciate my hamster more. Anyway...

NHL Playoff Tidbits: Hawks win WCSF 4-2, Series Wrapup

I'm gonna jam a ton of crap in this post as we're leaving tomorrow morning for a weekend trip up to Minnesota for Amy's niece's 2nd birthday. Which is cool, but doesn't leave much time for internetting and hockey obsessing. I'm hoping I'll get to watch the Bruins/Flyers game tomorrow night, but considering Amy's family only really cares about the Cubs, Vikings (*vomit*), hunting and NASCAR, we'll see how far I get with that.

Even more quickly

GOOOOOOOO HAWKS!

BOOOOOOOOO SHARKS!

MISSING PART ONE:
Has anyone seen two creepy ass Swedish twins - last seen about two weeks ago in LA?

Is something burning in my oven? Oh wait, it's just Montreal.

MISSING PART TWO:
Has anyone seen that guy that scored the gold medal winning goal for Canada? You know the one who's "beard" is almost as bad as Kane's.

Who knew the Bruins were playing the role of the Yankees in their reenactment of the 2004 ALCS?

So that guy the Flyers pulled out of the stands to be their 65th goalie this year is pretty good, no?

[Note: A more serious post tomorrow. I gotta start getting more than six hours of sleep. Good night my friends!]

Quickly

Really wanted to do an angsty Game Five post tonight, but work kicked my ass today and I vegged much longer than I should have. I also needed to balance my checking account which took *forever* since I hadn't done it since March. Eep. Thank god I use autopay for almost all of my bills.

In any case, I'll try to post something before Game Six (by writing it at work....shhhh) but needless to say last night sucked. But hey....

...we could have been up 3-0 and are going on the road hanging by a thread at 3-2 with zero momentum (hello, Bruins).

...we could be the defending Stanley Cup Champions going to a Game Seven against a team that no one thought deserved making the playoffs, much less possibly knocking off the game's two poster children (hello, Penguins).

...we could be the Sharks. Teal is ugly.

Adios!

Western Conference Semifinals Game Four: Hawks 7, Nucks 4 - Mel spins a tale.

Let me tell you a story of two Captains:

The first will never be the league's flashiest player. He truly leads by example. He is a quiet leader - doesn't need histrionics and would never throw a team member under the bus. He does all the things that doesn't often get noticed - works hard for the puck along the boards, excels on the penalty kill, is a calming presence on the team. Most importantly - when it matters most, he shows up.

The second Captain will take credit when he plays well, but when he sucks, it's the other players' fault. Or the refs. Or the Prime Minister. He overacts and whines whenever he feels he was wronged to the point it's pathetic. Most importantly - when it matters most, he folds like a tent.

If you haven't guessed yet...

Captain #1:

Captain #2:

I won't say too much further as I waited until the last minute to write this up - only due to weekend laziness. This game was very enjoyable to watch - especially at a bar w/fellow Hawks fans and the flowing of beverages of the alcoholic type. The Canucks have completely lost their shit which is a joy to behold. I hope the Hawks don't lay off of them tonight and feed off the insane crowd and finish them ala Mortal Kombat.

Pretty please - I have tickets to the Conference Finals and would hate to have to eat the TicketBastard service charges!

Western Conference Semifinals Game Three: Hawks 5, Nucks 2 - Mel wants McNuggets

image courtesy of Second City Hockey

Well that was fun wasn't it? Unless of course you're a Nucks fan - then I just pity you and your trash throwing brethren.

Even before the series started, all the media wanted to talk about was Dustin Byfuglien and Roberto Luongo. Unfortunately, Buff was useless as a forward in Game One - well in all fairness, most of the Hawks were. He was shuttled between D and Forward in Game Two depending on what Q's magic eight ball told him. Finally by scratching Troy Brouwer in Game Three (which I hope is a wake up call and we see him tearing things up tomorrow), Hendry was brought back to pair up with Sopel (which makes me twitchy every time they have a shift) and Buff was moved to the top line with Toews and Kane.

I think Booby Lu and the Nucks must have thought the hot tub in their locker room was actually a time machine and it was 2009 again. Wow. Buff is maddening because he only seems to play when he feels like it. Imagine if he could put this kind of effort and consistency in a game on a regular basis. He'd be unstoppable. Here's what's scary: with last night, Buff now has two career hat tricks. Kane and Toews? One apiece.

Of course the Nucks and their fans have spent the last 24 hours wearing the tin foil hats and complaining about Buff's third goal and our running into Lu. Hey, you guys brought all of this up before Game One. How about instead of whining, your goalie not look like his pads are made of trampoline and your asshats stop going after noted tough guys Brian Campbell, Dave Bolland and Marian Hossa. I don't know what Bolland did to one of the creepy ginger twins (I'm not going to bother to find out which one it was), but he looked like a guy who was just told there's no Santa Claus. Here's a thought: maybe if you stop bitching to the refs and the press about everything and just play hockey, the calls will come your way. Because I'm sure this is how the refs see you:

Back to the Hawks' play: Without Nemo in the first, this would have been a completely different game. He made some incredible saves and I am in awe of his splits. One day some woman's going to have a very flexible husband there. The Hawks power play finally came to life - thanks for the opportunities Vancouver! Bolland must have finally heard the Hawks' faithful bitching about him lately because this was his best game in the playoffs by far. I thought Toews didn't have one of his better games, but he still managed to get three helpers. That's how good he is.

We'll see if the bloodbath continues in Game Four. I fully expect the Hawks to get called for at least one goaltender interference against them, as to just shut up Lu for five minutes. It'll be interesting to see if the Nucks continue to try to goad us, or just play hockey. In any case, the worst we can do is split the two games in BC, which is what I wanted anyway. I hope the Hawks decide not to let up, and head back to the UC with the opportunity to shut the door before the weekend's over.

Oh and if you're wondering about the McNuggets reference:

I couldn't find a better picture of this, but this was Buff at some McDonalds shin-dig a few months back. Thus the moniker, BUFF MCNUGGETS!

Western Conference Semifinals Game Two: Hawks 4, Nucks 2 - Mel would like a CVS Gift Card

Seriously guys. I'm already on anti-depressants. This year's playoffs is totally making me bi-polar. Drugs are expensive, stop it!

Case in point: Kris Versteeg. It's a well known fact the boy will not dump the puck in the zone. He thinks he's Kaner, but no - he's not. Between that, a dumb penalty, and two breakaways that he really should scored on at least *one* of them, I was conspiring to find my brother's #32 jersey and burn it in effigy. Then with 90 seconds left in a tie game, he pots one past Lu (resulting in Bobby doing a face plant afterward - delicious). I swear, I wanted to kiss and smack him at the same time.

So a "must win" game in the NHL playoffs really are only reserved for Game Sevens and elimination games. But I think last night was pretty close to a must win for the Hawks. Going into Vancouver down 2-0 would be a steep hill to climb. Not an impossible task, but the mental challenge alone would be pretty daunting. After the Nucks put 2 in the first five minutes of this game, I was getting close to Netflix territory again. Honestly, how can you come out so flat right off the bat in your own building? If not for Nemo and some missed shots by the Nucks, it could have easily been a 3 or 4 goal lead after a couple of dumb bench penalties. I don't know what exactly triggered it (and I don't care at this point), but the Hawks finally realized they weren't playing NHL10 on their PS3's and pretty much dictated the play the rest of the game. Luongo was the only reason the Hawks didn't take the lead in the second, and Sharpie tied it with a shortie midway through the third, followed by Versteeg with the aforementioned winner, and the deal was sealed by an empty net by Kane.

Um, I had more coherent thoughts, but I'm tired (I was supposed to go to bed right after *that*? No.) and my stomach hurts. Perhaps I'll throw another post up here before the game since it is SO DAMN LATE (productivity at work right out the window), but perhaps not. Regardless, it should be a fun game tomorrow.

Oh, one more thing:

LOLOLOLOLOLOL AT RED WINGS!

Western Conference Semifinals Game One: Canucks 5, Hawks 1 - Mel gags

Well that was *awful*

Hold on, let me get my thesaurus:

Main Entry:	awful
Part of Speech:	adjective
Definition:	very bad; terrible
Synonyms:	abominable, alarming, appalling, atrocious, deplorable, depressing, dire, disgusting, distressing, dreadful, fearful, frightful, ghastly, grody, gross*, gruesome, grungy, harrowing, hideous, horrendous, horrible, horrific, horrifying, nasty, offensive, raunchy, repulsive, shocking, stinking, synthetic, tough, ugly, unpleasant, unsightly

NHL Playoffs: Round One Wrap-Up and Round Two Predictions

I've got about an hour before puck drop in the first game of Round Two, so this is as good a time as any to do this.

First, an in-depth (*snort*) analysis of Round One - my prediction is in Red:

Eastern Conference:
Canadiens beat Capitals in 7 (Capitals in Six): OK, who outside of Montreal picked this? I'm not complaining though - karma's a bitch ain't it Ovie? This is also why I'm glad the Hawks didn't win the President's Trophy - it's a curse more than a blessing IMHO. Halak was a stud - wonder whose hands are shaking now?
Flyers beat Devils in 5 (Devils in Seven): Who cares really? Although it bothers me the Devils fans are bitching and moaning about how it's been so long since winning the Cup in '03. Check back with me when you do the math and subtract 1961 from 2010 and we'll talk about the concept of time.
Bruins beat Sabres (is it Sabres or Sabers? I never know) in 6 (Bruins in Seven): I picked this one! So sad to see Ryan Miller go so early - he of the lopsided puppy dog sad face. I think saying TUUUUUUUUK is better than LUUUUUUUUUUU.
Penguins beat Senators in 6 (Penguins in Six): Not a big surprise, although I appreciate the scare the Sens gave in their 3OT victory. Of course now many folks are handing the Eastern Conference to the Pens as they are the highest seed left. Ask the Caps about presumption before counting the chickens eh?

Western Conference:
Sharks beat Avalanche in 6 (Sharks in Five): Does this make the Caps the new Sharks? Honestly, without Craig Anderson this series would have been much shorter. BTW, has anyone found Joe Thornton yet?
Blackhawks beat Predators in 6 (Hawks in Six): You know my thoughts on this series. I'm just thankful it's over - way too nerve wracking for my comfort.
Canucks beat Kings in 6 (Canucks in Seven): I like Drew Doughty. The Canucks can kiss my ass. LUUUUUUUUUUUUU SUUUUUUUUUUUCKS.
Red Wings beat Coyotes in 7 (Coyotes in Seven): BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I feel like I need to send the 'Yotes a condolence card for not only losing to Scum, but for also probably having the owner of the White Sox pulling the strings soon. So, so sorry.


Onto Round Two...

Western Conference Quarterfinals Game 6: Hawks 5, Predators 3 - Mel can exhale - until Saturday around 7CST.

[Note: I really meant to put this up yesterday but was too engrossed in the two game sevens to get it done. All I have to say is: BOOOOOOO Wings & LOLOLOLOLOL Caps. I'll have a brief recap of Round One and my predictions for Round Two tomorrow.]

Game. Set. Match.

The Hawks sure didn't make this one easy on my heart. A fast and furious first period ended with the Hawks leading 4-3 and myself looking for the Rolaids. Goals by four of the Hawks' biggest names, Keith, Kane, Sharp and Toews led the way. Although I wouldn't call Kane's goal a score so much as a fluky occurrence given up by Rinne. Seabrook attempted a dump in off a face off near centre, which deflected off Kaner's skate on net. The Pekkanator (hee) went to the boards expecting the puck, only to make a valiant dive at the goal. I guess there are hockey gods - that evened out the weird bad angle shot Nemo let in Game One.

After the first, everyone was wondering if the final score was going to be 10-9. Both coaches must have realized that type of game wasn't going to work (especially for the Preds), and both the goalies and the D tightened down the screws. Apparently the officials weren't listening as they awarded the Hawks 4 PPs in the second - including a double minor for Hornqvist sticking Sopel's beautiful face (*gag*) resulting in post game stitches. The glorious Power Play Clown Shoes returned to the Hawks (must have gotten them back from Nashville after they scored their only PP goal in the series in the first) and they didn't score. As to not play favorites, the refs gave the Preds 3 PPs in the third which resulted in zilch as well. Finally with Rinne pulled, John "I wear my helmet to cover my eyebrows" Madden iced the game and the series with an empty net tally with eight seconds left. Thank. You. Jebus.

I picked the Hawks in six, but underestimated the fight the Preds would put up. The Predators and their fans have nothing to be ashamed of and should be proud of their play and have joined the list of teams I don't hate when we play them. Even if their D makes me sleepy at times. Honestly, if not for the incredible happenings at the end of Game Five, I think the Preds would have beaten us. Good job boys! Now do something with that awful goal song in the off-season!