Tuesday, September 21, 2010

They're Ready For Their Closeups Mr. DeMille

Btw...Sunset Boulevard - EPIC film. I love mes some Gloria Swanson.

In honor of the first night of the preseason (Blackhawks' first game is tomorrow night - w00t!), I've decided to have a little fun with various players' official team photos. I stumbled upon them over the weekend when I printed out the Hawks roster for training camp, and some of them are too funny. Now there are plenty of pictures of myself floating around that look much worse, but I don't make millions of dollars either, so I won't feel too bad about the mockery.


Corey Crawford
Every picture I have seen of this man looks like he's constipated. Or extremely high.

Hannu Toivonen
Hannu looks like an adult Charlie Brown. Maybe that's why he has Snoopy on the back of his mask.

Niklas Hjalmarsson
Where has your hair gone?!?

Marian Hossa
Why so serious? Good lord Panda, ease off the spray tan wouldya?

Patrick Kane
"Hi, I'm Pat. Can I interest you in a '98 Camaro? It runs great!" At least he looks over 18 this year.

Duncan Keith
I CAN HAS TEETH?

Rob Klinkhammer
Not only does he have the best name on the team since Steele Boomer (seriously) got cut today, his head is also shaped like a freshly sharpened pencil.

Jonathan Toews
I'm almost positive this is last year's picture. If not, I find it odd that the master of the Toews-Face has the same exact expression two years running. I mean, how about this instead:


BONUS PHOTO

Adam Burish
Looks like Burr just discovered everything's big in Texas - especially the hair on their women. 

I may have to do a part two as it appears most of the other NHL teams have not updated their team photos. Booooo. I'll have to remember as I'm sure there are more gems to come. Plus I'm dying to see how Versteeg's Maple Leaf photo turns out - will they let him wear sunglasses?

1 comment:

  1. Holy puck, Toivonen looks like Olli Jokinen!

    (Btw, "I am big. It's the pictures that got small!" = one of the best lines in movie history.

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