LOST:
One hockey team. High amounts of talent, potential and bad hair. Last seen being Ackbar'ed in a stadium on the wrong side of the Mason-Dixon Line. If found, please return by Thursday, 7:30pm CST. Unless of course the team chooses to continue to play like freshly made pile of dogshit. In that case, please return to sender - no forwarding address.
I won't even bother with a real recap - there are many other excellent blogs for that who can make their reasoning for why the Hawks stunk last night better than I can. I will say that I am not nearly upset as I thought as would be. Part of it is eternal optimism (the Hawks were down 2-1 to the 'Nucks last year) and the other part is pure undulterated denial. A loss tomorrow - raging Mel might make her first apperance since Game 3 of the NLDS in 2008. So instead of a recap, I give you Mel's three stars and goats of the game:
Stars:
1) Antti Niemi - I know, four goals against isn't exactly stellar, but I don't have much to work with ok? He did make 31 saves, including many tough ones. He was the only reason the score was 1-1 at the end of the first.
2) Duncan Keith - for seemingly being the only one who seemed to give a shit in the third.
3) Tomas Kopecky - for scoring the only goal. That is So Sad.
Mentions (they're not really honorable): Versteeg for a couple of sweet moves that led to some great early chances. This was negated by his shitty defense later. Sopel for probably making a bunch of blocks and not falling apart on the ice.
Goats: (so many choices)
1) Dustin Byfuglien - word is they're rushing Soupy back for Game Four to make up for this waste of space. I hope this fat sack of shit sits in the press box if that's true, but I think he's got pictures on Q and will probably play anyway.
2) Coach Q - for having Line ADD again. It's the *third* game of the playoffs and you're still making up shitty line combinations after a period? Perhaps that's why the team played like crap - that and I'm sure it does wonders to a player's psyche that basically your coach is telling you that you suck when he moves you down a line mid-game. Honestly, if the Hawks go belly up in this round, you won't see me shed a tear if Q gets the axe. He can take Torch with him, as the Hawks PP has been beyond Clown Shoes for the past several months.
3) Jonathan Toews - Dude, I love you. But act like the captain, grab your teammates by the balls (ok, not literally although I'm sure some folks would get off on that) and tell them to stop fucking around. This Is For Reals. And if you're getting outworked on the boards, something is not right.
Dishonorable Mentions: Pretty much everyone else on the Hawks. The Nashville fans for not selling out a playoff game. I mean, it's not like the Preds are in the playoffs that often. I'm all for trying to introduce hockey to "non traditional markets," but if you can't fill your own building during the race for the Cup, by default your franchise should be rewarded to Winnipeg.
I really hope the Hawks have realized that showing up does not equal wins. On paper, the Hawks should be destroying the Preds. But Nashville has been coming out of the locker room full tilt, making minimal mistakes and following their game plan to perfection. Do we even have a game plan? I think I saw Q shredding it during the third period of Game One.
It's going to be a long day at work tomorrow. I've decided if we lose, I'm going to get shitfaced on Friday after work. Even if that means I sit at home by myself with a bottle of grain alcohol. Yay!
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