Game 74: BJ's 4, Hawks 2: Mel gets to play coach!

Ok this is really not funny. Stop it. I'm not laughing.

I suppose I should be happy the Hawks only let the last place team in our division score half the goals they did in their previous meeting. But let's be honest. These are not the Blackhawks you are looking for. True, the 4th Jackets goal was an empty netter, but on the flipside the Hawks first goal was scored by a BJ (Thanks for the LOLer coaster Vermette!) and the second was a shortie. The point's been made that perhaps the Hawks are only motivated when they play "good teams" (see recent wins against 'Yotes and Nucks). If that's the case - they really need to get out of that mindframe. Barring another Sharks collapse you can kiss the conference goodbye. Fine, I'm not going to freak out over that one anyway. But a mere couple of weeks ago we were enjoying a lead in the upper teens in the division. Do you know what that lead is now? A mere 7 points over the Preds (a team I will strongly dislike for the simple fact they have the worst goal song in all of hockey) and 8 over the Scum. Sure we have a game or two in hand, but what difference does that make as dreadful as we are playing? If winning the division and earning a 2 seed in the playoffs does not motivate this team to put forth a consistent effort, polish those golf clubs boys. The excuses don't cut it anymore at this point in the season: the Olympics, injuries, goalie troubles. Every team in the NHL has issues such as these, and the great teams rise above it. The Hawks simply look like they're arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic now.

Game 73: BJ's 789, Hawks -3 - Mel resists the urge to fling herself off the upper bowl

Actually the score was 8-3 in favor of the Jackets, but it did feel like the score in the title.

Here's the short version of the recap, which can be summed up in two pictures:

Who knew I would so prophetic in predicting that damn cannon would go off so often I would wish I had brought my earplugs. Just call me Cassandra. The second picture was taken at some point in the third period - I was wishing for a quick painless death.

Anyway, onto the bitch session long recap:

Lighten Up

I changed the look of the blog - it's not so dark anymore. I'll probably fiddle with it quite a bit, so you may see a new look every time you visit. Whee!

Random Musings: OHIO, rain and that hockey thing

I'm sitting in our hotel room in Columbus as it's raining outside (the annoying steady kind - ugh) so the plans of running around town for pictures is kinda out the window. It's supposed to be sunny tomorrow, so I'll probably attempt to get up at a reasonable time in the morning to do an abbreviated tour before leaving town. So out of boredom, a few random thoughts:

- I never did a recap of Game 72. Oh well, I've been busy. The Hawks won 2-0 to gain sole possession of the Western Conference lead. Niemi earned his shutout, unlike most Hawks shutouts where whomever is in net faces less than 20 shots. Not a perfect game by any means, but probably the most satisfying win in awhile. It looks like the Coyotes and Sharks are going to play turnstile to see whomever wins the Pacific. That's fine - let them worry about each other. Not to jinx, but at this point the conference is ours to lose.
- Huet's in net tonight versus the Blue Jackets. An interesting choice by Q. Perhaps it will help his confidence to play on the road without the mouthbreathers booing him. Note: I will not boo him unless he lets in a softie like he did versus the Stars - it was really bad. If my maths are correct, with a regulation win not only will we clinch a playoff spot, we also knock the Blue Jackets out of a spot. So a possibility of witnessing some joyful schadenfreude in person. Don't worry, I'll take plenty of pictures at the game and post em later.
- Saw and took pictures of some very cool things on the drive out here. I'd show them to you, but my dumb ass left the USB cord at home. DOH! Anyway, we saw a really neat art deco theatre that is still showing movies in Indiana, some cool neon (including an awesome rusty chicken) and an abandoned movie theatre in Springfield, OH. Actually Springfield is one of the most depressing towns I've ever been in. You can tell it's one of those towns that has been decimated by the economy - lots of boarded up and abandoned buildings, people milling about aimlessly. If I would have had more time, it would have been worth a closer look-see.
- On the way home tomorrow we're going to make a slight detour to Cincinnati to stop at Jungle Jim's International Market. Amy really wants to go, and after looking here, it looks like it might be fun. Their camera policy seems a bit hazy so I'm going to have to be sneaky with the little camera.

Well, I'd best wake Amy up and get ready for the game. Go Hawks!

Goin' East

So we'll be leaving for Columbus, OHIO (it's more fun when you put it in caps) shortly. I'll be at the Hawks/Blue Jackets game tomorrow night. Thankfully I'm in a good mood to travel due to the Hawks win over the 'Yotes last night. Anyway, Toodles (Mr. Jim)!

Game 71: 'Yotes 5, Hawks 4 (SO) - Mel drinks to make it all better

I stated in my last post I would be happy if we got a point out of this game. I lied. I'm annoyed. Only because this is a game we should have won. I'll contribute this loss to three factors.

1) I think this is a game where having our three missing D-Men (Seabs, Soupy and Johnnson) would have made a difference. Mind you they didn't play horribly. But when I can say that Byfuglien played better than Sopel, that is an indictment of our favorite shot blocking caveman. Hell, Boyton looked better than Sopel - poor Dunc must have been exhausted carrying his ass on the top D pairing. And I forget which goal and what D pairing was on the ice when there were *two* uncontested Coyotes hanging out in from of Niemi, but that Can Not Happen.
2) Ben Eager is a brain dead bag of shit. There, I said it. His contribution to the game was six penalty minutes, all of which came after the whistle and four of which was a double minor for spearing. Spearing?? WTF? True, his PIM didn't lead to any Coyote goals, but that was six minutes of shorthanded hockey we had to play in a game of utmost importance in the conference. This type of goonery was markedly absent when his teammates were being run at left and right. I hope Q parks his ass in the press box - permanently. Fraser deserves a chance on the ice, or even Bickell or Dowell from the Hogs.
3) So, we go to the skills competition after an apparent winning goal by the 'Yotes is waved off for a "distinct kicking motion" (the right call for once), and Kane misses a wide open net. Q goes with the standard shooters of Toews (a rare miss) and Kane (miss - sigh). Former Hawk Radim Vrbata scores on the Coyotes' third attempt. With the game on the line, I fully expect Hossa to be out there. Nope, Q sends out Sharpie - with a career 20 cent (see what I did there?) success rate. So of course he misses. Why wasn't Hossa and his career 40% success rate out there? I've seen more bad coaching decisions out of Quenneville lately than I have all year. This is worrisome.

So with Phoenix winning another shootout last night, low and behold we are now tied with them atop the Western Conference. I would like to thank the San Jose Sharks for their overachieving and pushing up their usual April swoon to March. Seriously, I watched part of the Oilers-Sharks game last night - they were Terrible. This makes tomorrow night's rematch vs. the 'Yotes at the UC that much more important. Reports are that Seabrook might be back - though if he's still seeing birdies circling around his head, I'm ok with him resting another game or two. In any case, here's hoping for a better finish tomorrow night.

Games 69 & 70 - Mel takes rolaids, gets relief (albeit a day late)

Yes, I'm doing two game recaps in one post again. So sue me - back-to-back west coast games on school nights are a bitch to watch, much less write about. Besides, it's not like anyone reads this anyway :P


Quacks 4, Hawks 2

What more really could be said about this game? They say things come in threes - and this was the proverbial cherry on the shit sundae. Seeing the hit Wiz put on Seabrook live was scary - not quite as bad as when Kronwall knocked out Marty (which I was in attendance for and didn't really get to see the horribleness of it full force until I watched the replays at home) but still pretty bad. There are two three things that make it worse than the Ovie/Campbell hit: 1) there was obviously intent to injure. Apparently Wiz took exception to the hit Seabs put on Corey Perry earlier in the shift (it looked borderline to me - Perry ducked in preparation of the hit which made it worse than it should have been) and charged in from the blue line like his pants were on fire. No excuse. None. That is Matt Cooke territory. 2) Seabs and Wiz came up together in the AHL, were road roomies and Seabs is standing up in Wiz's wedding this summer. Or should I say was - apparently he's having second thoughts about it. I know there's no such things as friends on the ice, but c'mon. That was a total shitbag thing to do to a person who you are(were) close to off the ice. 3) Again, as with the Ovechkin PR debacle, we have Wiz, the Head Coach and Bob Murray (a former Hawk!) saying in the media that it was a clean hit, didn't intend to injure, shouldn't get a suspension, blahblahblah. I won't go into detail on the comments but fuck you to Wiz for not manning up for a dirty hit on a *friend* (sorry, still can't get over that). Fuck You to the Ducks Coach (sorry, I'm not going to be bothered to look up your name) for saying Wiz was your "Number One Star" in the game. I hope the team bus runs over your foot. Finally a FUCK YOU to Bob Murray for his below the belt comments about the Hawks organization. Your team is 13th in the conference shithead - have fun sitting and watching the playoffs at home - if you didn't throw the chairs at unsuspecting people first. I knew that I made the right choice when Troy was my favorite Murray growing up. To me, these kind of post game comments are as infuriating as the hit themselves. Personally I think the NHL needs to start fining asshats like these for their post game comments. Then again, they can't get their facts straight regarding which hits get suspensions and for how long. I have to say I was surprised at the 8 games Wiz got - I was expecting five.

The only other comment I'll make about this debacle is regarding Corey Crawford. Give the kid credit for the last minute start as Huet had the flu (why not start Niemi back-to-back though? It's almost April now Q -it's OK!). But his Kiprusoff-esque blunder led to the second goal, and even though it was probably the bench who told them to leave the net empty when the Ducks had possession, I still find that inexcusable. I'll see you in Rockford soon Corey!


Hawks 3, Kings 0

I really thought this was going to be loss number four in a row. A Sopel/Keith top D pairing? Buff back playing defense (Lord have mercy)? Against one of the top goalies in the league (Quick)? I was gladly proven wrong. Surprisingly the Hawks played one of their best defensive games in recent memory (only 17 SOG for the Kings and only a handful were decent shots). Brouwer got the first tally in the second, and Kopecky got two (!!) in the third to close it out. To complete the alternate reality game, Kopecky and Buff were the numbers 1 and 3 stars respectively (Dunc was 2nd). I am really proud of the team - this was a character game by all standards and after they way they've been playing lately, they really stood up and took control. A shoutout to Niemi too for the shutout. Not the toughest game he's faced, but as we've seen all year it's the low shot games that seem to give our goalies problems - good job my little Finnish friend!

Well we have the 'Yotes tomorrow night to close out the mini west coast tour. That should be a much tougher game than anyone would have thought looking at the schedule a few months ago. I'll be happy with a point. In any case, I'll most likely be at a viewing party at a bar, so don't expect to hear much from me until Sunday.

By the way - I'm on VACATION! No work for Mel until the 29th! w00t!

Blast From the Past: the Apples of My Eye

I just got my computer back from the shop (I have a Mac Mini) where I finally got more memory installed. Thank Jebus because attempting to run Firefox, iTunes and iPhoto simultaneously was slowing it down so badly I could walk around the block before all the programs would load. Which means I might be able to write a blog post in under a half hour now. Whee!

This got me to thinking about the computers I've had. For the record I have only owned Macs my entire life. If that makes me an art snob so be it, but I hate Windoze - it's bad enough I have to use it at work. My earliest computer memories are of the Apple IIe in grammar school. With that, anyone of a certain age should enjoy this:

Games 67 & 68 - Mel gives you two crappy game recaps for the price of one.

You know, I had a pretty good and productive weekend with exception of these games. Anyway.

Flyers 3, Hawks 2

Hawks play an aggressive game with plenty of shots and Huet looks confident and in position. Hawks jump out to a 2-1 lead. They're on their game. For 57 minutes. Then the D loses its shit and leaves Huet out to dry, the winning goal by the Flyers coming with 2 seconds left. Game over.

Capitals 4, Hawks 3 (OT)

Hawks come out to a 3-0 lead after 2 periods. Asshat Ovie takes out Soupy but gets a game misconduct. Mel misses all three goals due to brunch. Niemi looks awesome. Third period rolls around, Hawks take dumb penalties, D shits the bed again, leaves Niemi out to dry, Craps tie in regulation. Coach Q looks like he picked his lines out of a hat for OT, it bites him in the butt, Game Over.

I won't waste any more of my time recapping these games - they sucked, it's depressing and it reminds me too much of countless Cubs games. I will make a few points.

• How can this be the same team that came back five goals down to Calgary early in the season? We get a lead now and the other team scores one and it's like everyone gives up. Someone on this team needs to step up and carry this team. Not necessarily by scoring, but by being a leader - a sparkplug. Something. Toews? Madden? Keith? Bueller? The team seems tired, uninterested and confused lately. Get It Together.
• Rumors are rampant that Campbell is done for the year. I'll believe it when I hear it from someone I trust, but nonetheless we'll be without him for awhile. They scratched Johnsson today and Sopel is banged up as well. I don't know who they'll call up from the Hogs - at least Hendry has had enough playing time this year to step in easily. If Campbell is indeed done, it is a serious blow. I'm not a huge fan, but we need his speed and offensive skill.
• Speaking of which, can I just say what a piece of shit Alex Ovechkin is? You'll get no argument from me that he is one of the most talented, electrifying players in the game today. But doesn't anyone else this year have *three* game misconducts? Watch - he'll get a slap on the wrist because of who he is, meanwhile his reckless, careless play possibly put an important piece of our team on the shelf. I am not a vengeful person but I really hope someone, anyone kicks his ass old-school retaliation style. It's the only way this jackass will learn that all the talent in the world doesn't give you carte-blanche to take people out as you please.
• Seabrook - horrible. Needs to be scratched. Kane - looks like he is scared to shoot the puck and his two way game has been nonexistent. Hossa - day to day. These are three guys who need to be on their game if we have any chance of hoisting anything other than golf clubs in June.

These issues can all be a distant memory in a few weeks. But for the first time I am worried. I worry about the psyche of this team. I am worried about the mounting injuries. I am worried that Coach Q is starting to lose his shit. But hey, the goalies are playing well!

Game 66: Hawks 3, Kings 2 (OT) - Mel temporarily likes Badgers

Within the first five minutes of this game I remembered why I missed Adam Burish all season. How can you not love a guy who gets an assist and five for fighting in his first two shifts back from IR? I was hoping for the Gordie Howe had trick but it was not to be - he did miss on a open side of the net in the third. Maybe it's for the best - I don't know if any woman in a bar after the game would have been safe had had gotten it.

As per usual, this game played out like a Choose Your Own Adventure book (god I loved those as a kid):

Blackhawks come out with an edge - score opening goal less than 3 minutes in.
Go to page 3
Two bad penalties give them a 5-on-3 advantage. This could really break the game wide open! Hawks proceed to stink up the UC.
Go to page 17
Hawks outshoot Kings 13-6 in first period. Go to dressing room cursing Jonathan Quick.
Go back to page 7
Hawks look like dog shit in second - proceed to let Kings score two goals due to bad defense and poor goalie positioning.
You can:
Fold like a tent and let the opposition score several more goals this period while Mel pokes her eyes out with a pencil. Go to page 9.
Or:
Decide you actually feel like playing this period and score a tying goal. Go to page 21.
Congratulations! You finally picked the correct choice (and you didn't even cheat and look ahead). Versteeg scores a tying goal halfway through the second period.
Go to back to page 5
Was a third period even played?
Go to page 25 (Overtime)
Your choices:
OT ends after countless chances and goes to the shootout. The shootout ends after 57 rounds after the Kings' backup goaltender scores. Go to page 26
Or:
Someone actually scores in OT. Go to page 27.
Sweet baby Jesus! Sharp gets his second of the night off a terrible Kings turnover two minutes into OT. Bras and phone numbers litter the UC ice. Burish takes them all home.

On a serious note, I'm glad the Hawks won - for a city unaccustomed to winning much, Chicago sports fans sure love to head to the ledge if a team has a bad stretch. I'm also glad Niemi had a decent game - he saved 28 of 30 SOG. Or else the lemmings would have called for this guy to be brought up from Rockford:



For the record, his name is Hannu Toivonen and I actually saw him play when he was still with the Blues' AHL affiliate in Rockford a few weeks ago. He wasn't that bad - certainly he provided no comic relief like in the video.


Weekend games against at Flyers and versus Ovie & the C(r)aps at the UC. I saw pairs of tickets in the 300 level for that game going for $300+. Jesus, Mary & Joseph.

My Totally Sports Themed Bday Presents...

...from the bestest gf ever!

My birthday was almost two weeks ago but I've been too busy (lazy) to post this. Bless Amy's heart for appeasing and dealing with my sports obsession. Thankfully, she realizes I grew up in a household where ESPN was on every waking minute. Growing up, we once stayed in a cabin in Yellowstone sans TV - my dad looked like a lost puppy. I think he read the sports section of the local paper multiple times. In any case, I'm grateful Amy was already a Cubs fan when I met her. Growing up in Iowa, she would go to a Cubs game in the "big city" every summer with her family. She wasn't much of a hockey fan, but I've dragged her into it the last couple of years and I think she really enjoys the game. Too bad she didn't watch it much as a kid since fights are her favorite part. Where we go our separate ways is football - she hates it, I can sing the "Super Bowl Shuffle" in my sleep. Luckily she usually does something else in the apartment during Bears games or joins the other football widows at Target. So here is a pictorial of her gifts to me - with a special bonus at the end.

Game 65: Detroit (Sucks) 5, Hawks 4 - Mel has not pressed the panic button...yet

It was rather nice to blog about something else I'm clearly obsessed with (film and media) but it's back to reality now. This game left me in a pretty sour mood and I've been putting off writing this. Ah well, down with the castor oil.

Oh What the Hell - Bloggin' the Oscars

7:29PM
Completely skipped the "Red Carpet Show." Even I have a limit to how much crap I can watch. I did catch Meryl Streep though - as if I could ever look that good at her age.

Mel's Oscar Predictions

I used to be really into the Oscars - predictions, trying to see all the nominated films, etc. I haven't recently - mostly because the films I think really deserve to win rarely do. NPR has an interesting article regarding this fact - look at the Best Picture winners 10-20 years after their win to really judge their worthiness. Secondly, I don't go to the movies nearly as much as I used to. Part of it is because it seems there aren't as many films I would be willing to pay $10/ticket for - maybe I'm just getting too picky in my old age. Also, I do love sci-fi/blockbuster type movies but Amy abhors them. So I either have to go by myself (which I'm ok with) or find someone to go with.

So, I'll probably watch the ceremonies on and off tonight, but I used to be pretty good at this prediction thing, so away we go:

Why “The Mel”?

I'm sure some folks (maybe all two of you) wonder why I go by the moniker “The Mel.” It’s really not because I’m conceited – honestly for those who have met me in real life, you should know I have the self esteem of a fruit fly. But because I’m long winded about everything here, of course I must now tell you a story.

Game 64: Hawks 6, Canucks 3 - Mel sacrifices $8 to the cause

If I had to come up with a description for Wednesday's crowd @ the UC, it would have been "pissed off sarcastically pleased humans." For last night's game, I would say the crowd was full of "drunkingly delirious speed bunnies on crack." See what a rivalry and a absolute shitstorm of a game can do to a fanbase's sanity?

In any case, this was probably the most anticipated home game in quite awhile - it's to be a followed by a game versus the Scum tomorrow and the Caps are coming in for our only (regular) season meeting this year next weekend. So, it's a good week to be a Hawks fan. The fervor was only heightened by Kesler's "coward" comments toward Andrew Ladd after Ladd punched him like the little bitch that he is last game. Of course prior to the game Kesler tries to come off as if the media twisted his words. What a pus.

Can a game start off any better than 12 PIM 37 seconds in? Ladd and Kesler decided just to get it over with and go at each other, followed by more pleasantries before they could get the ensuing faceoff dropped. In the end, the Hawks had a 5 on 3, with Amy laughing as she had never seen a penalty box as full as the Canucks' - the NHL guy in the box had to sit on the floor. The Hawks didn't score on the two man advantage, which is par for the course this season. Shortly thereafter the Hawks scored on a softy given up by Luongo by - wait for it - Andrew Ladd. I love good karma.

From that point forward the Hawks put forth the kind of period I don't think I can recall in recent months. After killing off a Canucks two man advantage, (there were 30 PIM in the first), scores from Keith and Brouwer came within 30 seconds of one another, with Kesler (BOOOOOOO) scoring to make it 3-1. Versteeg killed any Canuck momentum with a highlight reel goal a minute later, and Jordan Hendry got his first of the year in the final minute in another beaut. With each Hawks goal the "Luuuuuuuuu" chant got louder and louder (I really wish I had tissues to chuck on the ice) and at the end of the period Bobby Lou responded with an attempt to break his stick on the bench - that was the last we saw of his greasy haired self. I wish I could say I felt bad for him - I did not. I don't care that it makes me a bitch that I enjoyed it immensely and wish they would have kept him in for further humiliation.

The second and third periods lacked the intensity of the first. I guess with a comfortable lead and with Luongo consoling himself on the bench (I mistyped "bitch" here initially - haaaaa), there wasn't a need for the Hawks to go crazy (although I wouldn't have minded). Hossa got his 19th of the season in the second, sandwiched between Canucks scores in the second and third. The remaining play still was a tad chippy with an Eager/Glass scrap in the second. I was hoping for some more fisticuffs toward the end of the game, but I guess Vancouver wanted to escape with their tails between their legs, and the Hawks were too smart to risk injury. All in all a great game - probably the best game for the Hawks since the win over Detroit in January. Speaking of which, why in god's name is tomorrow's start time at 11:30 CST? I don't know if my stomach can handle Pierre that early in the day.

The $8 I allude to in the title is my adult beverage I knocked over at some point whilst jumping up for one of the five goals in the first. Luckily I had consumed the majority of it, but Amy was pissed because it got all over her bag. I told her I would clean it for her. Hey, if that's what it takes for a win, I'll douse myself in booze every game!

This is the 10th game in a row I have attended where the Hawks have won. The two Canucks games I have attended Bobby Lou got torched in both. Hey, Rocky - give me tickets to all playoff games - we can hoist the Cup in June!

Game 63: Hawks 5, Oilers 2 - Mel gives you the hand

The subject is in reference to the "talk to the hand" sign I gave to some woman who wanted to get to her seat while the play was still going on. I would have given her the finger as well, but was worried her bf/husband/douche behind her might have broken it.

Apologies for the last game recap. Honestly, I'm already two games behind and the game sucked shit so why waste my time? Sadly, I had a feeling the Hawks were going to come out flat like that right after the break. I hate it when I'm right!

Game 62: Islanders 5, Hawks 3 - Mel believes in brevity

This.

Game.

SUCKED!

Back to Reality

You know, I have about five billion things I'd like to post here (some even non-sports related - bonus!), but I never seem to have the time and energy. During the week, I'm out of the house from about 6.30 to 6pm, and by the time I settle in after dinner, it's almost time to go to bed. Or I have nights like tonight where I *have* to do two loads of laundry or I have to delve into the "bad bra" part of my dresser (ladies, you know what I'm talking about). Which reminds me, I think I have to go downstairs and get the clothes out of the dryer shortly. Shit.

Anyway.