Can You Take Out A Home Equity Loan For Hockey Tickets?

I guess it was to be expected - team wins a championship, tickets become scarce. But when single game tickets went on sale for the Blackhawks last month, I did not expect to be completely shut out. Of all 41 home games. Except for standing room (fuck that). Or the exorbitantly priced 100 level seats (fuck that even more).

I already had issues with the Hawks’ ticket sales because not only did they raise ticket prices again (I can’t say I blame them - supply & demand) but they also divided parts of the 300 level into *3* price levels. For serious? There’s only 17 rows in most of them for Chrissakes! They also have dicked around with my brother’s season tickets - they wanted to move down a couple rows because they sit in the second to last row of their section and folks in standing room basically invade your personal space the entire game. I can attest to that - I used my brother’s tickets to see the preseason game vs. the Wings on Saturday and Amy had to put her arm out to prevent some guy from basically resting his junk on the top of my head. Eww. In any case, the Hawks ticket folks refused to move my brother and his seatmate (even though most of the seats in the rows in front of them are not used by STHs) unless they wanted to move down far enough to be in a more expensive price level. Way to take care of your loyal fans. But why would the Hawks make any concessions to them? The waiting list (which I am a part of) is miles long and they could find someone to take my brother’s seats, probably at the non-grandfathered price range to boot. Hey, the Hawks organ-I-zation is still miles above when Dollar Bill held the reins, but boy can you tell John McDonough is in charge - he pulled the same shit when he was with the Cubs.

They're Ready For Their Closeups Mr. DeMille

Btw...Sunset Boulevard - EPIC film. I love mes some Gloria Swanson.

In honor of the first night of the preseason (Blackhawks' first game is tomorrow night - w00t!), I've decided to have a little fun with various players' official team photos. I stumbled upon them over the weekend when I printed out the Hawks roster for training camp, and some of them are too funny. Now there are plenty of pictures of myself floating around that look much worse, but I don't make millions of dollars either, so I won't feel too bad about the mockery.

Training Days

June 9th seems so far away at times - especially since I had to endure a horrendous summer of Cubs baseball which made me miss hockey even more. But finally, the party's over, the hangover cure has been ingested and we're on the cusp of the 2010-11 NHL season. With the Chicago Blackhawks as your defending Stanley Cup champions, of course.

Training Camps used to be several weeks long, but with the playoffs running into June, preseason games and now these "Premiere" games in Europe (WTF NHL - do we really need games in Sweden, Finland *and* Prague?), camps are now merely days. That doesn't leave time for players on the bubble to make the big time a lot of opportunities to make an impression, so these camps are much more intense that they probably were a few years ago.

Pass the Pigskin

When I don't have to turn the a/c on for several days in a row, when I see surly teenagers walking to the local high school, when I begrudgingly have to remember where the hell I put my hoodies, this can only mean one thing: IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON.

The Chicago Bears have a rare gift in this city - they're truly the only team in Chicago that the whole city is united for. Sure, the Blackhawks were hot shit this year, but half the folks in their Byfuglien jerseys (haaaaaaaa...suckers!) probably thought icing was what you put on a cupcake two years ago. Notwithstanding, hockey still has nowhere near the number of fans of the other "Big Three" sports in this country. The Bulls? The 90's were great in the Jordan/Pippen/Jackson era (hell, even *I* watched the NBA playoffs then), but when MJ left, so did the Bulls hold on the city. Cubs/Sox? I'm surprised they don't ask on birth certificates in Chicagoland which team has your alligence. Nothing divides this city like bickering between fans of the two teams. The Bears have always been *the* team in Chicago. The waiting list for season tickets is decades long, people fight over who inherits them in wills (seriously) and no matter how bad the team sucks, Solider Field will be full come December when the windchill is 20 below zero and a handful of men will paint their chest orange and navy and go shirtless. And then they will have frostbitten boobies. I was in 5th grade during the illustrious 1985 Super Bowl season, and this city went bat shit crazy. Nothing could ever top the feeling and excitement - unless of course if the Cubs ever win it all, and I think Chicago will just burn to the ground if that ever happens. I think part of the reason the city was so caught up in it was it was Chicago's first championship since the Bears won it all in 1963 - and there wasn't even a Super Bowl then. Decades of pent up frustration came out that year - it was one big party from September to January. People from that team are revered as saints in Chicago - I mean if Mike Ditka decided to run for Mayor, he'd win in a landslide. Actually my pipe dream would be a Ditka-Oprah mayoral race. Now that would be fun!

My class did a rendition of the Super Bowl Shuffle. I was Mike Richardson. That should tell you how popular I was :P

Saving the Worst For Last

[Goodbye Nemo *wails*]

We all knew that the moves the Hawks were going to have to make in the offseason would be painful. But if you had told me earlier that this would mean we'd lose no fewer than *10* players, including our Cup winning goalie, I would have thought you were on crack and proceeded to either get drunk or jump off my porch (I live on the second floor). 

I had been dreading the impending Antti Niemi arbitration hearing and was hoping against hope the two sides could hammer something out beforehand. Alas, that did not happen, so I crossed my fingers that the arbitrator would award Nemo something in the 2 mildo range: that would be the only way he'd fit in a cap tighter than my thighs in spandex (please note I have never owned any spandex. Go away fashion police!).

He was awarded a one year-$2.75 million dollar contract.

That was that - no more Nemo. Within 24 hours, the Hawks had signed Marty "C-3P0" Turco, and Antti Claus (because he can give up rebounds like it's Christmas) was no longer a Hawk. On a selfish note, I can state I'm happy I didn't invest in a jersey (but I might still get a Niemi T-Shirt) but I really, really grew to like Nemo as the season wore on. He seems like an unassuming, hard working, goofy guy. And he is cute in that dorky way I find so endearing.

It's not fair that a Stanley Cup winning goalie is out of a job, mostly due to the fact that the Blackhawks were punished for their success in terms of bonuses counting against next year's salary cap. The poor guy was a Cinderella story - Zamboni driver to hoisting the sports' greatest prize in a few short years. I will have to lay some of this blame on Niemi's agent, Bill Zito. I know his job is to get the best deal for his client, and of course his value will never be higher having just backstopped the team to the top. But any idiot could tell you that this was a shit year for goalie free agents (just ask Jose Theodore and Evgeni Nabokov). Everyone knew of the Hawks' cap issues - you'd think perhaps you'd take a one year deal at a reasonable price with the promise of a multi-year deal for bigger bucks in the wings. I guess money talks - yet here we are, several days after the decision and Niemi's gone nowhere. Sure Zito's boasting that several teams are now interested, but I can't see any NHL team right now signing Niemi to that $2.75 mildo price tag - especially since unless a team changes its current roster, Nemo would only be needed in a 1A or backup role. I get the feeling Zito was filling Nemo's head with Halak-type numbers, only to see that idea fly out the window. Reportedly Niemi asked Zito "Now What?" after the decision was rendered. Now what indeed - poor Nemo could legitimately be out of the NHL or playing at a price less than what the Hawks probably offered him come the start of the regular season. 

Antti Niemi, you captured my heart in the midst of the journey that brought me to tears at the end, the journey that culminated in something no logical Chicago sports fan ever expects to see: a championship. Wherever your career takes you, I wish you nothing but the best. Just remember not to lose the puck in your pants again.

I wonder if Turco will sport red sparkling pads. I may have to wear sunglasses to the UC.

Ignoring Baseball

So there's this other sport I follow religiously: baseball. Unfortunately I've had a lapse in my faith as I've hardly paid attention to the MLB season at all. I can attribute this to three main reasons: 1) I was following hockey until mid-June. The above picture was taken at my second of four Cubs games I'm going to this season, and I didn't even bother to post about it here - cut me some slack, it was the day after we closed out the Vancouver series. 2) the Blackhawks' season culminating in their Stanley Cup victory was, well, a religious experience for me. Any other sport right now doesn't even come close to comparing. I was focused on hockey from October to June, and watching baseball right now is downright boring to me. Don't give me wrong, I love the sport. But becoming obsessed with the NHL again has made me have ADD with sports in general. 3) The Cubs Are Terrible. I mean even worse than I can remember them in at least five years. I think the only games I've seen in their entirety this season were the two games I've attended - they won both (a miracle!). I will always love the Cubs and will admit to that and defend them to anyone at anytime. But I just can't deal with them at the moment. It's as if I fear their bad luck will rub off on any other sports team I follow. Regardless, I'll make a lame attempt at analyzing the lame excuse of a season the Cubs as of the All Star Break.

The Kids Are Alright - At Least Until One Gets Beat Up

This past Friday through today was the Blackhawks Prospect Camp. Since we're losing players faster than Patrick Kane probably loses bills at a gentleman's club, I figured I might as well go on Saturday and see the players who will one day (probably too soon) be replacing them. Plus it was free and it's not like I have anything better to do. They invited 70 kids to the camp and divided them into four teams. They had two sessions with two teams apiece - each had a 15 minute practice before a scrimmage of two 30 minute periods.

RIP Probie

Bob Probert, 1965 - 2010

No matter what your feelings were about Probert, 45 is way too young to go - especially when you have four kids. What's horrifying to me to me is he apparently went in front of his wife, children and other family. I don't know if I'd wish that on my worst enemy.

For myself, Probie was the guy you loved to hate when he played for the Wings. He did his job well - beating the shit outta anyone in his way. What most people forget though is is could also score - look at his point total in 87-88: 62. The Hawks gave him a second chance at playing after one of his frequent alcohol related run ins with the law and subsequent release from Detroit. The hate turned to love for the Chicago fans. Here was a man who protected his teammates, especially the skill players, with his fists. That's something you'll never see again with the instigator penalties they've instituted - another thing that has changed the game for the worst, IMHO. He was the last of a dying breed.

As his hockey card from 1990 states, "Bob had a much publicized drug and alcohol problem." Maybe that contributed to his early death, but why speculate? The man had demons, but it seemed like he had done his best to conquer them. By all accounts he was truly a nice, stand up guy off the ice. 

Most of the tribute posts I've seen link to clips of Probert's best fights. If you'd like to see them, take a look at hockeyfights.com or youtube - they're there for the taking. I'd like to include the one below. It's a Hawks/Wings montage before Game 4 of the WCF Finals last year and includes the ceremonial puck drop by Probie himself:

"Kick their ass" indeed, Bob. Wherever you are now, I hope you're doing the same.

Another Three Bite the Dust...

Bow your heads please, as we take a moment to remember three additional recently departed members of Your 2010 Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks...

Andrew Ladd

You played in the SCF with a fractured shoulder - that is a testament to your toughness. You were known more for your gritty style of play, but you also scored the team's only hat trick in the regular season. Alas, Atlanta offered you $3.5 mildo so off you went. Have fun with our other recently departed friends, Buff, Eager and Sopel on Blackhawks-South. 

Adam Burish

Trendy bars with co-eds will never be the same without you Burr. I'll miss your wit and cockiness. You never really seemed to put it all together this year - perhaps you were still recovering from your injury. You were willing to stay for a hometown discount, but either the money the Stars were throwing at you was too good to turn down, or the front office simply didn't want you back. Have fun with all the big hair in Texas.

Kris Versteeg

Who will be the team's aspiring rapper now that you're gone Kris? Your defiance in not dumping the puck into the zone and boneheaded defensive lapses frustrated me to no end. Yet, you easily had half a dozen highlight reel type goals last season. Perhaps the increased ice time you'll receive in Toronto will turn you into a better two way player - I suspect you may be the player we let go that ends up biting us in the butt. Sorry that you have been shipped to the team who has inherited the "longest Cup drought" title.

Losing seven players from a championship team less than a month after winning it all has been tough. It had to happen, and I'm thankful we won it all before it did. Still, I would have hoped we wouldn't have lost the equivalence of two complete lines. As it stands, this is what our lines would possibly look like if we played today:

Kane - Toews - Brouwer

Hossa - Sharp - Kopecky

Skille? - Bolland - Stahlberg

Bickell - Reasoner - Beach?

Keith - Seabrook

Campbell - Hjalmarsson

Hendry/Scott/Boynton??

Niemi

Huet/Crawford

This is of course assuming that they resign Toftbo and Nemo - I mean why clear all this cap space if you're not going to? I'm also going to guess Huet gets sent to Rockford once the season starts to rid the team of his albatross of a cap hit. But perhaps they're not, which is another reason for all of the salary dumping. That's a lot of IceHogs on the team - nothing wrong with that, but at first look, that's a *huge* drop in talent from our first two to our bottom two lines. It's possible we may pick up a veteran or two to fill in, but who knows what money we'll have to work with. All I know is one of our greatest strengths last season was our depth, and it's pretty much been gutted at this point.

*Sigh* it's gonna be a long summer.

Breaking Up the Band

We all knew it would happen. Due to the NHL's hard salary cap, there was no way Your 2010 Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks (see, it never gets old) would stay intact. The Cup had barely been lifted in triumph before the internets was abuzz with with the impending doom of the Hawks' Capocalypse. Still, three weeks after the ultimate victory, saying goodbye to four members of the team is bittersweet at best.

A Week On: A Collection of Not-So Memorable Yet Hilarious Hawks Images

So, it's been exactly a week since the Blackhawks hoisted their first Stanley Cup in 49 years. The first several days seemed to be an unrelenting party going on in my head and everything seemed so shiny and happy. Unfortunately, going back to work on Monday really took the buzz off of it - Being understaffed and stressed out ruins everything! Still, the idea of being the reigning Stanley Cup Champions has not gotten old and certainly has gotten this summer off to a tremendously tremendous start. 

Since last Wednesday, I have collected an assortment of images off the internets which I either found funny or a big helping of FAIL. This will be an image heavy post so those on "smart" phones or on 28.8 modems may not want to click on the jump. But I promise you it will be fun!

Sweating My Arse off for a Taste of Victory

First off let me just say, if a Chicago sports team ever wins another championship I care about (Sox and Bulls need not apply) my ass is going to be watching it from the comfort of my own home. That being said, I have no regrets about attending the Blackhawks victory parade downtown on Friday. It was worth it, especially since I wouldn't be surprised if there's never another one for the rest of my days.

Stanley Cup Finals Ga-THE CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS ARE YOUR 2010 STANLEY CUP CHAMPS!

As the NHL commercial states, “There are no words.”

I am 34 years old, and 6/9/10 @ 10:06 PM CST will rank as the best sports moment of my life - unless of course the Cubs win it all, but since that’s a sign of the apocalypse (seriously, it’s in the Bible and everything) there may not be much celebrating. I was too young to fully appreciate the Bears in 1985. The Bulls’ six championships were nice, but I hate basketball. The Sox I treated as if any team from the AL won the World Series – I didn’t care. This was my holy grail. And I cried like a baby in public. And I’m not ashamed.

I am going to a ticker tape parade tomorrow, bitches. 24 years ago I pleaded with my mom to let me go when the Bears won it all – she refused. Finally all these years later, I get to attend one. I only wish my mom could be physically able to enjoy it with me in person.

Stanley Cup Finals Game Five: Hawks 7, Flyers 4 - Mel starts to FREAK OUT

Well, by freak out I mean that in a "OMGWe'reONEwinawayfromthebigshinything" way. Mostly. There's still the rational/Chicago sports fan part of my brain that reminds me that the series is far from over. Damn you 2003 Cubs from preventing me from fully enjoying the position I'm currently in!

I have to say, the first period of this game was probably the best period of hockey the Hawks have played in this series, if not the entire playoffs. Speed. Puck possession. Crisp passing. Good hitting. It was a thing of beauty - up 3-0 at the end of the period in your own building - marvelous.

Inevitably, the Flyers came out like their pants were on fire scoring quickly in the second. Here's the thing though - every time the Flyers would seemingly get the momentum back by scoring, the Hawks would come right back and answer. That is refreshing to see. The Flyers never got closer than 2 goals down, and when Buff scored the empty netter to ice it, I cursed not having a hot tub time machine to make it Game Six already. A two day break between games this far along in the series is hell for my nerves. Add a long stressful work week already, and this week has just sucked thus far.

Stanley Cup Finals Game Four: Flyers 5, Hawks 3 - Mel brings out the big guns

Look, I'm pissed off and frightened now. I am not happy.

Honestly, the Hawks are lucky the series is tied 2-2 coming home. They haven't played a good game yet. Not even close. And if they don't for two of the next possible three games, I'm going to have a summer of heartbreak, and some assbags are going to be carrying something that doesn't belong to them.

Stanley Cup Finals Game Three: Flyers 4, Hawks 3 (OT) - Mel wanted them to come home anyway

This is gonna be quick and dirty as this game was depressing and I'm really in no mood to spend much time on it.

Honestly, I don't think anyone expected the Hawks would sweep this series. Although being up 2-0, the thought was nice. If we can pull one out tomorrow, we come home needing only one win to get to the promised land. And that is fine by me.

In order to do that, the Hawks need to note the following:

- The Hawks haven't played their A game consistently yet this series. This is comforting to a point, but we're going into Game Four here. Get it together already!
- To that end, the Hawks seemed to be playing the more Flyers game last night than their own. You're a puck possession team - quit looking to make hits just to make them. By all means, don't sit there and take their dirty play, but don't stoop to their level. Play your game!
- Buff needs off the top line. Like yesterday - he's reverted to regular season form. Please put Brouwer out there and make Pronger do more than cross check and throw elbows. Like skate a little.
- I hope Ladd is back tomorrow. Burish needs to sit: if the only thing you're contributing in the Cup finals are one liners from the bench you need to go away.
- Q, why the fuck were you so concerned with matchups in OT? It's playoff hockey - put your best lines out there and make competent changes after shorter shifts. Your schizophrenic quick changes cost us this game.
- The Philly goal horn dude has a heavy finger. And why does the horn last so damn long? It's worse than the damn cannons in Columbus.
- I hope Pronger chokes on a bag of chips.
- OK, Nemo - you're due for another big game tomorrow right?

That's all folks. Thankfully I'll be watching the game tomorrow at bar. Yay, alcohol!

Stanley Cup Finals Game Two: Hawks 2, Flyers 1 - Mel gets treats

Well, I guess the real treat was the outcome. But as to what I'm referring to, you'll just have to wait until the end.

With the somewhat unexpected offensive explosion in Game One, you'd had to figure both teams would button things down. They wouldn't disappoint. The first period started out somewhat tentative - offensively at least (the Hawks won the SOG battle 9-3). The hits though came fast and furious - starting at the opening faceoff. Much was made about Daniel Carcillo entering the lineup. He made a few good hits, although none better than this one:



I guess this is why Carcillo was bumped to the third line shortly thereafter and was MIA in the third period. I loved Burish's chirp from the bench though: "That was your best hit all year!" LOLLERCOASTER!

The second period definitely had more jump to it - the Flyers outshot the Hawks 15-13. With better rebound control and positioning by both goalies, it seemed like we were going to the final period with two goose eggs on the scoreboard. Lo and behold, with the Flyers being sloppy clearing out the front of the net with 3 minutes left, a Panda swooped in and buried it over Leighton for his first tally of the Finals. You could tell Hossa was relieved more than anything - I think he has been the best forward so far in this series. The UC crowd was still buzzing when a mere 28 seconds later, Buff picked off a pass in the neutral zone and passed it to a waiting Eager who fired a laser above Leighton's glove hand. Ben *fucking* Eager? My brother said the crowd was the loudest after he scored, more out of disbelief than anything else. His celebration was reminiscent of the Nintendo64 kid. He needs to be a little more careful when jumping around though - he could have broken our Captain.

The Flyers came out in pure desperation in the final frame, perhaps realizing that we're not the Bruins. The Hawks seemed somewhat content in being complacent and focusing on defense, which isn't a bad thing, but I wish they would have come out with a little more oomph. Philly clobbered us in offensive chances, with the SOG being tilted 15-4. Enter our little Nemo. If not for a weird wobbly shot that went in from Gagne, Niemi would have had his third shutout of the playoffs. Again, Nemo follows up a shit game with one of his best ones. So after I nearly jumped out the window when Sharpie clanged the post on the empty net to seal the deal (what is with this team and fucking up the ENGs?), the Hawks go to Philly with a 2-0 lead. Thank you Flying Spaghetti Monster!

A brief note on the Pronger/puck/towel/Eager situation. I realize Pronger is a fucking asshole and probably took the puck just to piss the Hawks off. Doesn't he have enough pucks from his grade school days playing with Chelios? It just pisses me off because that puck belongs to Nemo - I mean look at this face from the post game interview - he's choking up because he can't believe the crowd is going crazy for him:

Why gritty players like Sami Salo suffer while filth like Pronger goes without being speared in the nuts is beyond me. Not that I'm advocating violence *whistles*

So Game Three: I'll light a candle for any Hawks fans brave enough to show their face there. I hope they bring ponchos for the beer and vomit showers. I know Toews and Kaner will be back in scoring form. I know Nemo will continue to amaze. I hope the Hawks come back home with at least a split.

Now onto the treats. My brother was kind enough bring me back a couple things I requested from the two games:

Another puck for the collection...

Official SCF program. I haven't read it cover to cover yet but a) it's got a nice section for the roster for both teams b) is far too ad heavy (though the Philadelphia area ads amuse me) c) has way too many mentions/pictures of Crosby/Ovechkin for a Finals between the *Blackhawks* and the *Flyers*. I hate you NHL marketing machine! I'll make sure to get completely pissed NYE so I sleep through the Pens/Caps Winter Classic. Phhhbbbbttttt!

Stanley Cup Finals Game One: Hawks 6, Flyers 5 - Mel needs a Zoloft

Wow, what a game!

Both goalies made some incredible saves. The top lines for both teams were unstoppable. Such great defense! And the ice at the UC - top notch!

Wait, what?

Belated WCF Game Four (Hawks Win Series!) Wrapup

[blogger's note: please excuse the probable crapiness and nonsensical ramblings of this post. I am sick, on cold medicine and my nose is more chapped than a infant who has diaper rash's ass. Whee!]

Well we all know how this ended up - Blackhawks swept the Sharks in four. I don't think anyone (including myself) expected that. Sure, a lot of folks say all four games were hard-fought (which they were) but sweeping a team out of the NHL playoffs is difficult - case in point: this is the only sweep in the playoffs this year at this point.

A few thoughts on Game Four from the standpoint of someone in attendance - with pictures!

Jesus saves....at Wal-Mart

Really am behind on posting here but I have an excuse - I'm sick. I really don't know how I made it through eight hours of work today without passing out or biting people's heads off. Ok, I did a little of the latter.

In any case - enjoy the photo below from a local church. I did not take the picture - I just found it on the twitter-sphere.

Three more days - thank god. Watching the Cubs is giving me the twitches.